The Independent's journalism is supported by our readers. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn commission.
The Top 10 Top 10s of 2019
A round-up of the best Top 10 lists of the year
Your support helps us to tell the story
From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.
At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.
The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.
Your support makes all the difference.Thanks to all who have contributed to the Top 10s that have appeared every weekend in The Independent on Sunday and on The Independent website since the Top 10 Worst Beatles Songs in 2013. The 2014 book, Listellany: a Miscellany of Very British Top Tens, from Politics to Pop, is still available if you know where to look.
Here are 10 of my favourites from this year.
Asymmetrical animals
1. Plaice. In first plaice: young flounders are symmetrical but as they spend more time on the sea bed one eye grows round to the side that faces upwards.
2. Wrybill. A species of New Zealand plover with its beak curved to the right.
3. Fiddler crab, whose single large pincer can be wider than its body.
4. Narwhal. Has a helical tusk on its upper left jaw. As we discovered in November, there was one on the wall of Fishmongers’ Hall in London.
5. Sperm whale. Has a single nostril on the upper left of its head, its blowhole, while the right nostril has evolved to form a phonic lip, which makes sounds to communicate.
6. Honey badgers of the subspecies signata have a second lower molar on the left side of their jaws, but not the right.
7. Snails. And all other gastropods. Snails’ shells spiral either clockwise or anticlockwise.
8. Iwasaki’s snail-eater snake. Asymmetry passed from prey to predator. It has asymmetric jaws, which makes it easier to eat snails with dextral (clockwise coiled) shells.
9. Cock-eyed squid. The right eye is round, blue and sunken; the left eye is at least twice the diameter, yellow-green, faces upward, and bulges out of the head.
10. Perissodus microlepis: species of scale-eating cichlid fish found in Lake Tanganyika. About half the population has jaws twisted to the left, making it easier to eat scales on its victim’s right flank. The other morph has jaws twisted to the right. The abundance of each morph is regulated by “frequency-dependent selection”.
Worst Conjunctions of Book Title and Author
1. You Are My God, David Watson.
2. Name Your Child Eric Partridge.
3. How to Eat Nigella Lawson.
4. Lister The Paintings of Samuel Palmer. (It’s not a list.)
5. Slaughter Living Things. Biology textbook.
6. Keep the Aspidistra Flying, George Orwell.
7. Fall Out, Tim Shipman.
8. Revelation Boring (Eugene Boring, commentary on Revelation).
9. How to be a Victorian Ruth Goodman.
10. Why Do People Suffer James Jones.
Untrue Sayings
1. When you’re getting criticised from both sides, you must be doing a good job.
2. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
3. A watched pot never boils.
4. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. (Flies are attracted to acetic acid.)
5. If a job is worth doing, it is worth doing well. (Some jobs are worth doing only adequately.)
6. All roads lead to Rome.
7. No such thing as bad publicity. (Used only by people who haven’t had bad publicity.)
8. I before e except after c.
9. He who hesitates is lost.
10. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again. (Sometimes it’s much better to give up and go do something more profitable with your time.)
Titles Changed for Foreign Markets
1. The Golden Compass. US title of Northern Lights, by Philip Pullman.
2. Chocolate for Breakfast was the title of Bridget Jones’s Diary, the film, in Germany.
3. The Madness of King George was the title of the film of Alan Bennett’s play, The Madness of George III, so that Americans wouldn’t worry they’d missed the first two films (and would know that it was about a king).
4. Tom Elvis Jedusor is the French version of Tom Marvolo Riddle in the French Harry Potter (to allow the anagram “Je suis Voldemort”).
5. Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. Changed from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the UK market, because the BBC thought ninja sounded too violent.
6. The Teeth of the Sea. Jaws is called Les Dents de la Mer in France.
7. Orient Express. US title of Stamboul Train, by Graham Greene, also used for the film.
8. TJ Maxx became TK Maxx in the UK to avoid confusion with the Liverpool-based national chain TJ Hughes.
9. Journey to the End of Hell. The Deer Hunter was released in France as Voyage au bout de l’enfer.
10. Little Fred and Big Ed was an early title of an English translation of Asterix, until Anthea Bell worked her literary alchemy.
Fictional Bands
1. Spinal Tap.
2. Disaster Area. From The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, the second Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy book by Douglas Adams. The band earned so much that their lead singer, Hotblack Desiato, had to spend a year dead for tax purposes.
3. Dr Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. House band on The Muppet Show.
4. Drive Shaft. From Lost, the TV series. Second album called Oil Change.
5. Mouse Rat. From Parks and Recreation.
6. Weird Sisters. From the Harry Potter books. All-male group whose hits include “Do the Hippogriff”.
7. Sadie Killer and the Suspects. From the Steven Universe animated series.
8. The Band With Rocks In. From the Discworld book Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett.
9. Otis Day and the Nights. From Animal House.
10. The BC-52s. In The Flintstones film, the fictional band was played by the B-52s.
Pompous Phrases
1. With all due respect...
2. Methinks.
3. If I may say so.
4. As I said at the time.
5. I would not resile from that.
6. I will take no lectures from... (Neither will I provide a running commentary.)
7. The fact of the matter is.
8. Perchance.
9. Blood and treasure.
10. Do you know who I am?
Irregular plurals
1. Volkswagen Golves.
2. Bi, plural of bus. Also minibi. And ba, plural of bum.
3. Tollbeeth.
4. Weetabixen. (Although some say it is actually Weetaboides.)
5. Hice.
6. Tantra.
7. Jimi Hendrices. Also Rolices.
8. Robins Hood.
9. Little Bo Peep. (This one I had to think about for longer than the others.)
10. Umbrellae.
Backing musicians
1. Cher. Backing singer on “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’”, by The Righteous Brothers, 1964.
2. Reg Dwight (not yet called Elton John). Backing singer on “Lily The Pink”, by The Scaffold, 1968.
3. Elton John. Credited as “Rockaday Johnnie”, played piano on “Redneck Friend” by Jackson Browne, 1973.
4. Billy Joel. Played the piano on “Leader of the Pack” by the Shangri-Las, 1964.
5. Elvis Costello. Backing vocals on “Secret Lemonade Drinker”, TV advert for R White’s Lemonade, 1973.
6. Mick Jagger. Backing vocals on “You’re So Vain”, by Carly Simon, 1972.
7. Bob Dylan. Played piano under the name Elston Gunn for Bobby Vee (later famous for “Take Good Care of My Baby”) in 1959.
8. Tina Turner. Backing singer on Delaney and Bonnie’s album D & B Together, 1972 (Bonnie Bramlett had been a member of the Ikettes, Tina’s backing singers).
9. Jimmy Page. Played guitar on “It’s Not Unusual” by Tom Jones, and “Downtown” by Petula Clark, 1965.
10. Buffy Sainte-Marie. On coathanger, “Darcy Farrow”, by Steve Gillette, 1967.
Units of measurement
1. Length: London buses.
2. Height: Empire State Building, Nelson’s Column or the Eiffel Tower, depending on the nationality of the reader.
3. Weight: bags of sugar; elephants.
4. Volume: London buses (again). Or Olympic swimming pools.
5. Area: football pitches, or, for larger areas, Wales, perhaps because it is a bit squarish. Or Belgium, or, for Americans, Rhode Island.
6. Beauty: if Helen of Troy’s face could launch a thousand ships, a millihelen is the beauty required to launch one ship.
7. Distance. Peninkulma, Finnish: the distance a barking dog can be heard in still air (about six miles).
8. Number of words. The Gettysburg Address, 282 words, is the standard unit for measuring minor legislation or regulations. A shorter measure is an old tweet (140 characters), but that has gone the way of half crowns and shillings.
9. Level of political crisis. Number of media gazebos on Abingdon Green outside parliament.
10. Time. Scaramuccis. Anthony Scaramucci served as the White House director of communications for 11 days, 21-31 July 2017.
Lyrics That Became Popular Sayings
1. Green and pleasant land. William Blake, “Jerusalem”.
2. I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. Spice Girls, “Wannabe”. Once quoted by Kenneth Clarke, when he was chancellor.
3. Should I stay or should I go. The Clash.
4. The times they are a-changing. Bob Dylan.
5. Always look on the bright side of life. Monty Python.
6. Jingoism. From an untitled 1870s song popularised by “The Great MacDermott”, which included the line, “We don’t want to fight, but by jingo if we do…”
7. Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right. Stealers Wheel, “Stuck In the Middle With You”.
8. Mad dogs and Englishmen (go out in the midday sun). Noel Coward.
9. I’d do anything for [x] (but I won’t do that). Meat Loaf.
10. Take a walk on the wild side. Lou Reed.
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies
Comments