Why my heart melts (a little) for Rupert Murdoch, the incurable romantic

At 92, the media mogul is back on the dating circuit, and good for him! Like him, loathe him – but leave his age and romantic relationships out of it. There’s nothing to see here

Media mogul and incurable romantic Rupert Murdoch has done it again. Just four months after breaking off his engagement to radio host Ann Lesley Smith – and a year after divorcing his fourth wife Jerry Hall – the 92-year-old is back on the dating circuit. His latest companion is Elena Zhukova, a friend of another of Murdoch’s ex-wives, Wendy Deng.

What’s the big deal, some might ask? An ultra-rich famous bloke has multiple marriages and romantic relationships – hardly remarkable. And celebrities – old or young – don’t exactly have a reputation for maintaining stable love lives. Leonardo DiCaprio seems to have a steady stream of models on his arm, and while eyebrows are raised about the age range of his girlfriends, nothing’s really said about the validity of his romantic life.

So, what’s the difference with Murdoch? Why has news of his latest relationship been met with so many “vomit” emojis on social media? While he’s a controversial figure, the backlash has nothing to do with his business ethics. The criticism centres only on the idea that a person of such advanced years continues to have an active love life. And how desperately unfair that is.

There’s a notable queasiness about the sex lives of older adults. The idea of sexually desiring older women in particular has become a bit of a trope in popular culture – and a grotesque one at that. Just think of how the libidinous older woman is portrayed in comedies like The Inbetweeners: as desperate, repellent and laughable. Or the reaction to Emma Thompson’s character in Good Luck to You, Leo Grande. Thompson plays an older woman who forges a relationship with a younger, male escort. One review read: “The 62-year-old actress has firmly refused to deny the ageing process, and gives us her all. And of course, Thompson is actually super-sexy.”

Or you might remember Iris Jones, the 80-year-old woman whose interview with Phil and Holly went viral after she discussed her sex life with her (now ex) partner Mohamed Ibrahim. If you ever want to feel utterly miserable about the world, have a look at the comments under recordings of Jones’s appearance on This Morning. You get it all: misogyny, racism, Islamophobia, ageism – a full house of discrimination and prejudice.

Mind you, women don’t have to get to their eighties before they’re harangued for dating younger men – remember the barrage of abuse hurled at Caroline Flack for dating Harry Styles? Or the sniping about Cheryl Cole’s relationship with Liam Payne? Pejorative terms such as “cougar” for women who date younger men are part of popular parlance.

And while some older men might appear to get an easier time of it, judging from the responses to news of Murdoch’s latest relationship, the ick level remains staggeringly high. Older men with younger partners are commonly characterised as “sugar daddies” and their partners as “money-grabbers” or “naive fools”. There seems to be an assumption of bad faith when it comes to age-gap relationships – they’re rarely viewed as equal, and often one or other of the partners is assumed to be a victim of sexual or financial exploitation.

But it’s not really about Murdoch, is it? It’s about how we view and value the elderly – as if they’re not allowed to be fully human. I remember my beloved great-uncle, then in his seventies, telling a teenage d***headed me how much he loved my Auntie Annie and how beautiful she still was to him. I pretended to gag and told him he was traumatising me! Mea culpa: basic human needs and the desire for romantic intimacy are no longer appropriate once people get past a certain age, it seems.

But you know what? Turns out that romance is good for you, no matter how old you are – as Professor Sharron Hinchliff, who leads the ageing, gender, and sexual health/sexual wellbeing programme at the University of Sheffield, told me. “Older adults who are sexually active report lower levels of depression, better sleep quality, and decreased sensitivity to pain,” she said. “Of course, not all older adults are sexually active, or want to be, and we should respect that, but for those who are or want to be, there are barriers to sexual expression that we can help to break down.”

I left with her words ringing in my ears. Go tell that to the social media users who were expressing horror at the idea of a 92-year-old having a love life. “Randy old sod,” some said. “Mucky old bugger,” said others.

Look, Murdoch may have many faults. He may have been less than chivalrous in his previous relationships – reportedly breaking up with Hall by email, for example – but leave his age out of it. There’s nothing to see here.