James Cleverly’s date rape joke apology tells us even more about him

When people show you who they are, believe them the first time...

As the old adage from Maya Angelou goes: “when people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” So what, then, are we to make of James Cleverly’s apology for his date rape “joke”?

It was “just” a joke, you see. That’s what the home secretary wants us to think about his comments at a Downing Street drinks reception just before Christmas. “It was a joke that I made and of course you know I regret it and I apologised immediately, and that apology is heartfelt,” he said when pressed on the issue, some 10 days after being called out for it in the first place.

Let’s remind ourselves of what he actually said, shall we? Well, while speaking about his wife at the event, he said “a little bit of Rohypnol in her drink every night” was “not really illegal” if it’s “only a little bit”. He went on to suggest that the secret to a long marriage is making sure your partner is “always mildly sedated so she can never realise there are better men out there.”

Now, let’s not be ridiculous here: it was clearly a joke. Nobody sensible could ever believe he was genuinely admitting to being a serial sex offender during a No 10 event, with journalists present.

But that does leave us with two key questions: is it a joke that a home secretary in charge of preventing drink spiking should be making? And can we now believe he is serious about tackling the issue?

To answer those, we need to look at one vital issue: context. Context matters. Certain comedians can about the worst topics imaginable – on stage, in front of an audience – with virtually no problem. And if there is a problem, then can be called out for it. They are subject to scrutiny.

Cleverly made his “joke” in private, at a function between politicians and the press, where tradition dictates what is said is (usually) not repeated. He didn’t get called out – but caught out.

We also need to look at Cleverly’s track record on these kinds of issues.

Remember when most of Boris Johnson’s cabinet were resigning as it became public that the former PM had knowingly promoted an alleged sexual predator, Chris Pincher? While others were jumping ship to avoid being seen as supporting a culture of sexual harassment, Cleverly jumped aboard as education secretary.

Then, when a neighbour called the police about an alleged altercation between Boris Johnson and his (then) partner and now wife Carrie Symonds, Cleverly’s response was: “The big element in the Boris story isn’t that there was a heated argument, it’s that the police were called.”

Compare that to a tweet he posted a few days ago, saying: “Preventing violence against women and girls is a personal priority for me.” Do you see how his personal and public record don’t quite add up?

There’s also the long list of Tory MPs involved in sexual misconduct scandals. Rob Roberts was found to have made repeated unwanted sexual advances towards an employee. Neil Parish watched pornography while (literally) in his parliamentary seat. Charlie Elphicke, who was a Tory MP until 2019, was sentenced to two years in jail for sexual assault in 2020. And two months ago, Tory MP Crispin Blunt was arrested on suspicion of rape.

The Tory party hasn’t exactly established themselves as an organisation that takes sexual misconduct seriously. So for its home secretary to joke about drugging women, in a work context, only adds further weight to the idea that they don’t actually care.

We need to look at what is exacerbating the problem of male violence against women and girls. We can throw money, police and cameras at the issue as much as we like, but in my opinion that still won’t solve the core problem, which is: a lack of respect and concern for women’s safety.

Could Cleverly’s “joke” not be seen as a lack of respect and concern for women’s safety?

Yet fixing that apparent lack of respect within our society might be exactly what is needed to address the root of the problem.

How would it change things? Well, arguably a police officer nicknamed “the rapist”, with several harassment complaints against him, would have been fired long before he had a chance to rape and murder Sarah Everard. (Despite the fact that Wayne Couzens was well-known for making female officers feel uncomfortable, two of his Met Police colleagues shared misogynistic, racist and homophobic content with him.)

Almost every man who commits one of these offences has other men in their life who they probably tell these sorts of jokes with. If those mates were concerned enough about the horrendous levels of sexual abuse and violence against women, they would care enough to find out their friend’s actual views about women – and call them out for it.

They might not be direct perpetrators of the problem, but those attitudes certainly contribute to the atmosphere that violence against women relies on. And instead of tackling it head-on, our government has been leading a “culture war” against those pushing to improve women’s lives.

Cleverly’s “joke” is just another reminder of whose side they’re really on.