Domestic abuse has long been one of the most insidious, intractable and oppressive of all crimes of violence – because of its unique nature. It takes place in private, behind closed doors, away from potential witnesses. The things in life that should bring a shared sense of reassurance and comfort – children, a home, money – become weapons to be wielded by the persecutor, and binds that tie them to an intolerable life.
The victims are invariably the wives and partners of men, and under coercive control. This is made all the easier because there is no escape route. The victims may well have no money, and also be subject to financial control as well as psychological intimidation, making it impossible for them to pay for digs.
Although attitudes are changing, for many years the police simply refused to take “a domestic” seriously, and certainly not to the extent of taking a case forward. The murder of Sarah Everard by a serving officer, Wayne Couzens, though exceptional, highlights how such a misogynistic mentality, and worse, can persist within institutions women should be able to look to for protection.
The victims of domestic abuse are not imprisoned in the strict sense of that term, but they may as well be. If they leave home, and especially if they take any children, there are few places for them to go. If they flee to family or friends, they can be tracked down and in effect abducted. They feel as though they are trapped because they so often are.
This is something that no civilised society should tolerate, and that is why TheIndependent, in partnership with the charity Refuge, and one of the UK’s largest house builders, Persimmon, is launching an appeal to build a pioneering new type of home for those women and their children sometimes fleeing for their lives. The aim is to create a prototype for a better, more secure place of safety for the women and girls who need security above all else – a home specifically designed as a place of refuge and offering sanctuary for whole families for up to six months at a time.
The house will be built with charitable donations, including from Persimmon, and, it is hoped, in the longer term can help transform the scale and type of accommodation that is available for those in distress – with links to agencies that can help with housing and any legal matters. It is being built “brick by brick” in the sense that each £15 donation (a suggested sum) will go towards covering the total projected cost of £300,000.
It is an innovative approach that builds on the pioneering work of others. The women’s refuge movement that was pioneered by Erin Pizzey in the 1970s soon gained a great deal of momentum and publicity, and led to the foundation of the Refuge charity.
But such hostels are still too small in number, and some cannot easily accommodate whole families for any length of time. They are not custom-built and can suffer from the usual problems that can beset older properties. At any rate, there needs to be many more of them if women are to feel that they can rebuild their lives after a long period when they’ve been beaten and gaslighted into submission, their very sense of self-worth gradually eradicated.
The data indicates that domestic abuse survivors actually face homelessness because they are turned away from refuges for lack of space – about 60 per cent find themselves in this hopeless, appalling situation – and we do now know how many feel that they have no alternative but to move back in with an abuser due to a chronic national shortage of spaces.
We do know that some 16,930 women were left with nowhere to go last year, and more than 100 took their own lives. A new wave of freshly built, warm, safe and secret refuges will help reduce that toll of misery.
Societal attitudes about violence against women and girls are changing for the better, and the new government has made the welcome pledge to halve levels of violence against women and girls within a decade. Sir Keir Starmer and Yvette Cooper also promise tougher enforcement and protection for women abused by men.
Their work in driving down domestic abuse will be made easier if enough refuges can offer women a base from which they can secure justice and long-term safety. It’s time to make all these forms of violent misogyny history – brick by brick.
Please donate now to the Brick by Brick campaign, launched by The Independent and charity Refuge, to help raise £300,000 to build a safe space for women where they can escape domestic abuse, rebuild their lives and make a new future
Anyone who requires help or support can contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline, which is open 24/7 365 days per year on 0808 2000 247 or via its website
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