I lost Brianna to the dark side of the web – I’m determined to stop other parents suffering the same fate

When my daughter was alive, I struggled to understand why she was self-harming and restricting her eating to the point of hospitalisation – I now know that she was influenced by the insidious side of the internet, writes Esther Ghey, the mother of murdered trans teenager Brianna Ghey

‘I recently sat through a video showing harmful images and videos, like those that Brianna would have watched on social media’ (PA)

Since Brianna’s death, I’ve had no choice but to wake up to the harmful content that our young people are accessing online. Her killers planned her murder over WhatsApp. One of them had accessed the dark web watching murder and torture videos.

When Brianna was alive, I struggled to understand why she was self-harming and restricting her eating to the point of hospitalisation – I now know that she was influenced by the insidious side of the internet.

I recently sat through a video showing harmful images and videos, like those that Brianna would have watched on social media. As I’m writing this, I’m replaying the content in my mind. Even after that one watch, I feel sad and sick to my stomach. Children aren’t watching this kind of content once; the algorithm is serving it to them repeatedly – there’s no doubt this is contributing to a mental health crisis.

After my meetings with Ofcom, I can see there is a deep understanding for the need to change. I can really feel the passion that they have for creating a safer online world. However, taking on social media giants is going to be a mammoth task. I worry that it is impossible to prevent all harmful content from reaching the eyes and minds of our children.

The consultation released by Ofcom gives confirmation of major child safety and welfare issue online. Some 15,000 children and 7,000 parents were interviewed to determine that children have access to harmful content. This acknowledgement is a significant step – and a pivotal point for change.

I think the consultation is very positive. However, I would like to see more support for parents. My own experience as a parent of teenagers has highlighted the difficulty of keeping track of what they are accessing online.

Children are much more “tech savvy” than adults, they have grown up with this technology and have more time to use devices. After speaking with other parents, I have learnt that this often results in teenagers bypassing safety features and parental controls.

The consultation is ambiguous in areas. For example, the age of the user is not specified – do we need research into the appropriate age for social media use? Current age limits are based on data privacy laws, rather than the effects that social media has on the mental health and wellbeing of our young people.

The term “significant number of children” is also mentioned, but it is down to the discretion of the social media platforms to decide what is “significant”. My concern is if social media companies have this responsibility, any ambiguity isn’t only difficult to follow, but may also be abused.

The Online Safety Act is a step in the right direction, but is it enough to protect children? I believe that this enormous and difficult task shouldn’t be carried out by Ofcom alone – this needs collaboration from parents, our children, social media companies, tech companies and the government. It is a massive societal issue that affects everyone.

Personally, I would like to see smartphones that are safe by design for children. Tamper-proof controls and apps are needed at the point of purchase. This technology is already available. I believe it would prevent the harm and deaths of so many children.

I also support a mobile phone ban in schools. Teachers inform me that most of the issues they are dealing with are due to mobile phones. From safeguarding issues to bullying, it is a constant battle for them.

Removing this issue will help students and teachers focus on education. It could also free up time for mindfulness, which can further improve the mental health of our teachers, children and teenagers.

Esther is currently campaigning for mobile phone companies to take more responsibility for children’s welfare. Click here to sign her petition. She is also campaigning to get mindfulness into all schools in England here. Follow her on Instagram and Facebook