Spare a thought for the political advisers who write speeches like the one delivered by Boris Johnson

Mistakes during speeches happen but they really shouldn’t happen to the prime minister, writes Salma Shah

Holding his hands up: But was Boris Johnson’s blundering CBI speech really all his fault? (Getty)

It was the best of speeches, it was the worst of speeches, depending on whose spin doctor you spoke to. It was a genius dead-cat strategy, it was the ramblings of a PM who has lost his grip on reality. It was great for Sir Keir Starmer, it was terrible for Sir Keir Starmer. This was the essence of the general assessment surrounding Boris Johnson’s much-derided speech to the Confederation of British Industry (CBI) national conference on Monday. Whatever you decide it was, at least it wasn’t uneventful.

We’ve all had an opinion, made the memes, read the commentary and viewed the parodies on TikTok but spare a thought for the poor writers behind the speech who will be lambasted for ever thanks to the prime minister losing his place.

It is the moment most political aides and private offices dread. Your principal is out there, on a stage, flying solo in front of all your critics. Your carefully curated words, your diligent research all lead to this important moment when the eyes of the world are watching and despite all your genuine efforts what they see is a dishevelled heap.

Your heart leaps into your throat, your palms sweat, your mouth dries out and your mind races to think of all the lines you could use when the braying press pack, inevitably, turns its beady collective eye on to you. It may even cross your mind to trip the fire alarm in a vain attempt to create a diversion that could lead the bulletins instead of this car-crash speech. But you decide that, on balance, it may be marginally worse.

Even in pressing times, the Downing Street team should be well prepared for big set-piece speeches. Lines and announcements are worked out in advance before the arduous fact-checking clearance processes begin, asking for comment from the dullest officials in the world whose sole occupation is to remove any last vestiges of personality from the copy.

Then along comes the speech deliverer, possibly with their own ideas (God forbid!), shredding the perfectly balanced speech that says a lot by saying very little and ending the subtle but determined banality of the British government establishment who generally detest rhetoric and even the slightest semblance of human emotion. Could this be the cause of the uneven speech that reads like a split-personality disorder?

The writers will have to think long and hard about what went so wrong. Did he just fall foul of the winter lurgy or perhaps Peppa Pig World was just that good? There will have to be a reckoning if the same mistakes are to be avoided.

Being someone else’s brain isn’t easy but PMs can’t function without at least a few spare for the workload. Advisers spend their lives trying to think like the boss and second guess their every opinion, which is a tiring and imprecise exercise. It’s perhaps why, as well as the politicians, the advisers are on the hook for failures too. It might seem unfair but all ministers pick their staff and are responsible for making them work. It’s not working in this case.

Naturally, there is conflict and tension in every communication that comes from the government, all opinions have to be accounted for and angles covered, which is the core reason why ministerial speeches are, on the whole, total snoozefests. It is the inevitable result of speeches written by committee. Perhaps it’s why the PM, who is pretty well known for his shambolic style, ad-libbed and lost his way in the speech?

It really could happen to anyone, the problem is that it really shouldn’t happen to the prime minister when talking to an audience that is already sceptical of him and needs the government to help them work through what is about to become a very testing time for the British economy.

Perhaps we should also note the challenges for advisers serving Her Majesty’s opposition. While they will be enjoying the negative coverage of this and wider travails of the government there is still a long way to go before that translates into power and if he fails to make an impact he will have missed his chance. Indeed his staff should remember, if no one’s talking about your speech, did you even really give a speech at all?