I’m sure Boris Johnson finds hiring Nadine Dorries as culture secretary amusing – but I’m not laughing

Evidence of her love and sympathy for the arts, which is incidentally worth billions of pounds to the UK economy every year, seems scant, writes Katy Brand

Dorries outside Downing Street this week (Reuters)

When I was at school we were allowed to elect a student representative who would attend higher-level staff meetings and fight for our rights. We had some triumphs (a greater range of milkshakes in the canteen) and some setbacks (the petition to have a McDonald’s open opposite the school was ultimately unsuccessful).

One year we thought we’d be terribly clever and cynical about this set up. I don’t know why – perhaps we had become complacent as we indulged in the full range of flavoured dairy drinks on offer. But whatever the reason, we thought it would be funny to put someone wholly unsuitable in place.

We decided it would really show the staff our contempt for their sorry little system to choose someone who patently couldn’t give a toss. We knew who to go for – let’s call him Lucas, a 15-year-old boy whose defining moment thus far had been taking speed in the toilets on sports day and then winning all the races to such an extent that suspicion was aroused, and he was later suspended.