Wales has banned smacking children – now England needs to do the same

We don’t allow adults to be hit by another person, or even animals. So, why is it still acceptable to do this to children – the most vulnerable members of society?

Research by the NSPCC suggests that physical punishment of children is associated with increased aggression and antisocial behaviour (PA)

As smacking and slapping children becomes illegal in Wales today, surely it must be time for England to follow suit?

Scotland brought in a ban in November 2020, but as the law currently stands, smacking is allowed in England and Northern Ireland as long as it constitutes “reasonable punishment”.

As a mother, I find it shocking that we have never put in place specific laws across the whole of the UK to protect children and stop adults from lashing out at them.

Meting out physical punishment to a child should never be acceptable, yet, absurdly, they are the only group in our society for whom it is sometimes okay to do this.

The argument that, “I was smacked as a child and it never did me any harm” simply isn’t plausible. Nor is the reasoning that smacking is okay if it is done to “shock” a child, rather than hurt them. We all react differently – just because a parent was smacked as a child and doesn’t remember being affected by it, doesn’t mean the same experience will be replicated for their own kids.

The rule of “reasonable punishment” for smacking has been in force since the Victorian times. But what exactly does this mean, and how could it ever be proven? It leaves a grey area with the risk of parents defending their actions by claiming that hitting their child was somehow reasonable.

The new laws in Wales remove this grey area and make it clear that physical punishment should never be used against children.

As a mother to a five-year-old, I could never imagine wanting to inflict pain on him, or even threaten to inflict pain on him, to get him to do what I want. What does this teach our children? That lashing out is the best way to punish bad behaviour.

We don’t allow adults to be hit by another person, or even animals. So, why is it still acceptable to do this to children – the most vulnerable members of society?

Research by the NSPCC suggests that physical punishment of children is associated with increased aggression and antisocial behaviour, depressive symptoms and anxiety – and carries a serious risk of escalation into abuse.

However, despite all the evidence showing the potential damages of smacking children, my reasons for not smacking my child are not because of these. It’s even simpler than that: it comes down to my instincts.

My instinct as a mother is to protect my son from harm. He trusts me to keep him safe. If another child hurt him, he knows he can come to me and I will sort it out. He knows that hurting other people is wrong. How could I, therefore, hit him when I am cross with him? This would only teach him that it is okay to use physical harm to control the behaviour of another person.

In a world where male violence against women is endemic, the last thing I want is to give my son any reason to think that violence is acceptable. By smacking him, I would be sending a signal that hurting another person can sometimes be justified.

I have never hit another person. For me, there is no difference between hitting my son or lashing out at someone else. To me, it shows a loss of control by the person who has administered the smack.

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There will be some who argue that our children have become unruly and spoilt because we do not administer “tough love” in the form of physical punishment. I do not believe this to be true. There are other ways to punish a child without using physical harm, something which has become unacceptable and outdated.

Besides, I would much rather my child expressed his feelings with the odd tantrum that some might see as naughty, than for him to be obedient, compliant, and submissive because he is scared that I might hit him.

Now needs to be the time for England to follow Wales – and the 60 other countries where smacking is illegal – by updating our old-fashioned laws to properly protect children.