The Top 10: Words that don’t exist

‘There ought to be a German word for it’

There ought to be a word for ‘being staggered by an event while also being not even remotely surprised’ (AP)

Douglas Adams and John Lloyd did this in The Meaning of Liff, assigning placenames to things for which no word previously existed. And I have done the Top 10 Useful words for which there is no English equivalent. Here are some that Adams and Lloyd missed, for which there isn’t even a foreign word.

1. The sickly sense of over-indulgence, melancholia, disappointment and guilt after a box-set binge. Thanks to Steven Fogel. George Peters suggested “surflix” or “episadia”. Matthew Harding suggested “netfliction”.

2. Clicking on a Twitter “trending” topic and it being even more stupid than you feared it would be. From Damian Counsell.

3. Method that is so dull or predictable that it dilutes the joy of success. “It’s most clearly missing in sports: most fans can name a player or manager (Mourinho in football, John Higgins in snooker) who is successful but their style of winning is so dull as to spoil the win – perhaps it should be called “Higgins”, said James Dinsdale.

4. The inbetween, anxiety-limbo state when you’re waiting for news. It could apply to anything, but Victoria Richards was talking about a writing competition or the outcome of a submission you really care about, and asked if the word is just “Aghhhhhhhhh”.

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5. Being staggered by a revelation or event while also being not even remotely surprised. Nominated by John Blake. “For example, Donald Trump doing nothing while his followers riot in the US Capitol.”

6. In between “frequent” and “occasional”. David Sutherland points out that this may be why people use “regular”, which strictly refers to pattern rather than frequency.

7. Joy in one’s own misfortunes. “There is no word for taking a perverse pride in your, or your tribe’s, failures, as supporters of lower-ranked football teams, and, perhaps, some Remainers do,” said Stewart Slater.

8. Pain as a result of seeing someone’s happiness. Another kind of opposite of schadenfreude, nominated by John Blake and Jonathan Foy.

9. The realisation that the gripping TV serial you’re watching is not in fact building to a conclusion that will wrap the story up, but instead to another four inconclusive seasons. I think the word Robert Hutton is looking for is Lost.

10. Doing something amazingly impressive when there are no witnesses and nobody will ever believe you – pride mixed with mild despair. Thanks to Harriet Marsden.

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Honourable mention for Pat Turner, who said: “My eldest invented several of these: jaboggle – when you’ve entered a room purposefully but can’t remember why; haffelshuft – the dance two people perform trying to pass each other in a narrow street or corridor.” And for Ryan Shirlow: “My daughter came up with strangerous to describe an unfamiliar new climbing frame in the play park.”

This list started – or restarted – from a suggestion by Nigel Fox some time ago, when Ian Leslie, in his new book Conflicted, said that we need a word for “engaging in a non-hostile disagreement with the shared aim of ... a new understanding”. People suggested “dialogue” or “negotiation”, but neither is quite right, I think.

Next week: Diminutive names that are most unlike their originals, such as Peggy for Margaret or Polly for Mary.

Coming soon: Artists Begrudging the Creation That Made Them Famous, such as Arthur Conan Doyle and Sherlock Holmes.

Your suggestions please, and ideas for future Top 10s, to me on Twitter, or by email to top10@independent.co.uk