The Top 10: People Whose Names Could Be Journeys

A collection of people who could be ferry or other transport routes, mostly in and around Scotland

John Rentoul
Saturday 18 November 2017 15:46 GMT
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Douglas Fairbanks Jr, probably sailing from Douglas to Fairbanks
Douglas Fairbanks Jr, probably sailing from Douglas to Fairbanks (John Kobal Foundation/Getty)

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Two nominations were rejected by the selection panel. Ben Cropper said: “I remember once seeing a London bus with Victoria Peckham on the front.” Similarly, Brooklyn Beckenham, nominated by Tom Peck, did not make it to the select few.

1. Barry Douglas, Wolverhampton Wanderers defender. David Mills had the idea for this Top 10, so he is allowed to nominate a player from his favourite team. From Barry in South Wales to Douglas, capital of the Isle of Man.

2. Derry Irvine, Labour Lord Chancellor. “Can be a very pleasant crossing on a calm day,” said David Sutherland, from Northern Ireland to the Scottish coast near Ayr.

3. Lewis Hamilton. Back on the boat at Irvine or Ayr from Hamilton, outside Glasgow, to the Isle of Lewis, outer Hebrides. Nominated by David Sutherland again.

4. Douglas Ross, the Conservative MP and part-time referee who was allowed to be a linesman in a Barcelona match when there was a “crunch vote” on universal credit. Could be another Scottish journey, from Douglas, the village by the castle, of which only one turret is left, to the former Scottish county that at some times has included the Isle of Lewis, nominated by Jonathan Isaby.

5. Douglas Fairbanks. There is another Douglas in Arizona, and Fairbanks is the biggest city in Alaska’s interior. “Requires at least three flights and a few transfers, but can be done,” said David Sutherland.

6. Theresa May. A contrived trip from Theresa, New York, to May, Texas, devised by Alex Marklew.

7. Winona Ryder. There’s a Winona in Ontario, Canada, and 10 more in different US states. Ryder is a city in North Dakota (population 85). Nominated by Mitchell Stirling, who himself qualifies (Mitchell, or St Michael’s, is a village in Cornwall that was a rotten borough between 1547 and 1832).

8. Austin Mitchell, the former Labour MP. Nominated by Jeremy Lawford and Mike Mason, who referred to the state capital of Texas and the Mitchell in Queensland, Australia. Longest journey so far.

9. Victoria Pendleton. Another long-distance trip, from Victoria state in Australia to Pendleton, a town in New York state near Niagara Falls. Jeremy Lawford again.

10. Chelsea Clinton. There are three places called Clinton in the US: in Utah, Tennessee and North Carolina. Another from Jeremy Lawford.

Honourable mentions for Philip Webster and Robert Wright, who nominated Tom Cruise, Bryan Ferry and Linda Tripp, who didn’t fit the original specification of “names that could be ferry or other transport routes”, but who cannot be overlooked. Mainly because they prompted Alastair Meeks to observe that if Isla St Clair had married Barry White, then divorced and married Bryan Ferry, she’d be Isla White Ferry.

Next week: Unexpected Words in Pop Songs, starting with “fractals” in “Let It Go”, from Frozen

Coming soon: Governments in exile, after Carles Puigdemont, Catalan leader, fled to Brussels

Your suggestions please, and ideas for future Top 10s, to me on Twitter, or by email to top10@independent.co.uk

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