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OK, I confess, I had never heard of DJ Khaled until today. It turns out, on closer inspection, that I was nonetheless correct to assume he is a musician, rather than someone whose forenames happen to be Derek and Jason.
However, it may surprise you to learn that I have heard of Dwayne Johnson, otherwise known by his wrestling moniker, The Rock. Indeed, thanks to a coincidental convergence of insomnia and a Sky Sports subscription about 15 years ago, when The Rock was still in his prime, I have watched more professional wrestling than is sensible for a non-teenager.
Since then he’s become an actor and I’ve given up my Sky Sports addiction. So we’ve both benefited.
Anyhow, this pair of American celebs have been pitted against one another in a peculiar debate spanning fully three years – although spanning in this instance means one of them has responded to something the other said three years ago; we’re not talking an ongoing, soap opera-esque rumpus of the sort beloved by World Wrestling Entertainment Inc. Indeed, it’s not even personal so a grudge match at the next Royal Rumble is probably off the cards.
No, it seems instead that Johnson became aware of comments Khaled had made in a 2015 interview about oral sex – to wit, that he (Khaled) was no fan of performing oral sex on his wife (“Never!”, he said) but that naturally it was important for her to, ahem, “praise the king” in return.
These remarks, needless to say, didn’t go down very well – which seems appropriate.
Having resurfaced over the weekend thanks to The Root, the remarks elicited a surprisingly frank reply from The Rock, who joined the twitter furore to make clear that: “As a man, I take great pride in mastering ALL performances.”
Realising that he was in the midst of sharing a little too much information, Johnson added cunningly: “This is probably a little TMI… I will quietly excuse myself from this fun thread.” Neatly done.
So, what to make of it all, eh?
First, I suppose we should be relieved that Johnson isn’t pulling out his old wrestling moves in the bedroom. Nobody wants the ‘People’s Elbow’ routine to suddenly interrupt proceedings; as for the ‘Rock Bottom’, well one can only hazard a guess.
Second, it would be interesting to know if either of these two gentlemen asked their respective other halves whether they would mind that the world knew a little gossip about their sex lives?
Sure, the rather spectacular double standards of DJ Khaled might be worthy of critical comment as a symbol of how the sexual power imbalance between men and women is still alarmingly enduring. But the chaps who lined up to have a pop at him (and there were many of them aside from Johnson) are hardly paragons of virtue if they were revealing information about their partners without permission.
This brings me to point number three (completing the pinfall, so to speak), which is simply this: why on earth do celebrities (or anyone else for that matter) think the rest of us wants to know anything at all about their specific sexual likes and dislikes?
There may be occasions when there is a public interest in knowing that A or B is having a romantic relationship with C or D – for instance, if they are a politician who campaigns for family values but is cheating on their spouse.
There may also, I acknowledge, be merit in individuals discussing what tickles their fancy in order to educate and empower others.
But what the world needs to know about the differing attitudes of DJ Khaled and The Rock to cunnilingus can be written on a postage stamp – licked or unlicked – with room to spare.
The shame of it is that stamps, in a world of social media, are about as fashionable as keeping quiet over precisely what tricks you get up to in the bedroom. So unless you can live without the internet, be prepared for more disclosures of the TMI variety. Just think twice before making your own.
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