This is why The Rock’s message about fatherhood is so important to dads like me
I've seen a lot in my life, but witnessing my child being born was the most breathtaking of miracles. If one of the toughest and 'most masculine' men out there can share his feelings honestly, then so can others
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Your support makes all the difference.Yesterday The Rock left a beautiful heartfelt message on Instagram about the birth of his daughter and it got me thinking about my own experiences. Towards the end of my wife's labour, I remembered something my grandma said that I'll never forget. She said that I was going to see something my grandfather never saw: childbirth.
I'll never forget the day my daughter was born – it was both the best and hardest day of my life. The labour was long and had its ups and downs. I was by my wife's side the whole time. We did hypnobirthing and my job was to support her, talk to her and help her with her breathing. I remember being in the room and feeling so humbled.
I've seen a lot in my life, but witnessing my child being born was the most breathtaking of miracles. When you see something like that, you really do realise the strength of a woman, the courage and the sacrifice mothers go through to bring a child into the world. I had respect for women before, but that day gave me another level of appreciation.
After around 22 hours of labour, my daughter was born. But she didn't cry – she was grey and not breathing properly so they rushed her to intensive care. The doctors and nurses did amazing work to get her breathing, and she spent the next 10 days in and out of the special care unit for a course of antibiotics. That period was the hardest of our lives, but we can look back now and reflect on how it brought us even closer as a family. We have an appreciation for our daughter that I'm not sure we would have had if that had not occurred. My daughter is now two and a half years old and is a healthy, lively and intelligent little girl.
During the months after my daughter was born, I needed to share my feelings and found therapy in writing. It turned out that other dads also found therapy in sharing their experiences, thoughts and feelings, and what started as a personal space on the internet quickly turned into a collaborative blog and lifestyle platform for men.
The Rock's message is so important, as it will open the doors for other men – particularly those who feel restrained by society's expectations that men shouldn't show emotion – to feel it's OK to do the same. If he, one of the toughest and "most masculine" men out there, can share his feelings, then so can we.
I also love what The Rock said about playing different roles, which we all do. Being a dad is most definitely the most important role I play. Most dads these days want to be involved in their child's life, from birth and beyond, not just for our children's sakes but for the sake of ourselves as we learn and grow. My daughter never ceases to amaze me, and yet I realise each day how much I am needed to support her emotionally in her life. This is something I didn't expect and being able to share this with other dads who also have a range of their own experiences and emotions is both a relief and an inspiration.
Like my grandma said, I saw something my grandfather never saw. At that time, men weren't expected to get involved in that part of life. But today, we are lucky enough to have some of the opportunities our granddads, and perhaps even dads, didn't have. Like having a thriving and flexible career, while still being a very hands-on dad. Or being a stay-at-home dad.
The norms have changed, but let's continue to normalise these conversations. It's important that we as dads feel comfortable to be ourselves. It's one of the best examples we can set for our families, for the future and for the next generation of fathers.
Elliott Rae is the founder of MusicFootballFatherhood, a safe space for the modern father. You can visit their website here
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