How do we solve knife crime? I went from child in care to Saracens captain. I have some ideas...

A lot of young people are living in incredibly challenging situations and gangs become their family. They give them support and the promise of an exciting life – they see that as glamorous, writes Floyd Steadman

Floyd Steadman was the first Black captain of Saracens rugby club (Floyd Steadman)

The first emotion I felt when I read about the stabbing of a schoolgirl in Croydon was sadness – mixed with disappointment and anger.

We don’t yet know what happened in this case. But we do know that some young people turn to a life of crime because they think it is the way to make them money quickly and get them out of poverty. It’s desperately sad and frustrating that some of these same young men think they have to carry a knife around with them.

A lot of young people are living in incredibly challenging situations. Some are in gangs and those gangs become their family. They give them support and the promise of an exciting life. They see that as glamorous.

As for what we do about it: these same young people are going to be spending most of their time in school, if they’re going – and that’s where the opportunity lies. But it’s difficult, because in my opinion, the current education system is broken. We’re doing 20th -century exams in 21st-century schools.

We’re not keeping kids interested or helping them feel inspired. We focus so much on academia, when there are plenty of options: you can become a very successful plumber or electrician. But instead, we’re focusing more and more on exams and testing.

A lot of kids aren’t interested in academic lessons or A-levels – so why are we still doing these outdated tests? Why are we still doing GCSEs? We should be including gaming and coding in the curriculum. We should be focusing on sports.

I was the first Black captain of the Saracens – and I’m someone who came from a children’s home. I ran away from home at 10 when my dad kicked me out and was put in care. I was told that I was a failure; that I would never be successful. I happened to be good at sports and so I excelled. I believe in positive feedback and praise – and I also believe that every single child is good at something. You just have to find out what that thing is.

Almost all “difficult children” are going through something at home. The challenge for schools is to try to teach them or challenge them in a different way. How do you “hook” a troubled 15-year-old? You have to find something that excites them.

Every school should have two things: a fully-funded safeguarding lead and a full-time counsellor. Too many kids are missing school, and we should be finding out why. A 17-year-old should be in full-time education: whether that’s doing an NVQ, an apprenticeship, an internship or T levels.

Too often, a child is deemed to have “failed” because they didn’t go down the academic route. Why? So many business leaders are employing people with A-levels and degrees who have no idea what they want to do. They don’t have practical skills. We are educating them for work – not life.

Toxic masculinity really, really worries me. We are looking at, potentially, a generation of young men growing up thinking they can do whatever they want to women. I was the first Black headmaster of four top private schools – and my biggest focus has always been on kindness. Kind acts and deeds. It’s achingly simple, but it works.

We practise something called “random acts of kindness” at one of my schools – we pull names out of a hat, and then every pupil has to say (or do) something kind to that person every day. A huge part of my personal success has come from being kind and compassionate – even though those same qualities were used against me. I was told long ago: “You’ll never be successful... you’re too kind.”

As parents, we need to bring children up the right way: to be kind. If parents aren’t able to instil that, then schools need to step up. There are four key qualities that I believe can help keep kids on the right path: focusing on kindness, humility, hard work and empathy. I’ve worked in some tough state schools and I still believe that the most important difference we can make is valuing every student as a person.

I look at so-called “alpha” men like Andrew Tate and I don’t see a role model – I see arrogance and a lack of humility. More than that: I don’t see kindness. And that’s the most character-building quality anyone can possess. It’s the key to my success, and it might just be the key to yours.

Floyd Steadman OBE is a former Saracens captain, headmaster, school governor, director of AMC and BOXWISE advisory board member: helping young people feel seen and heard and encouraging them to achieve their full potential and avoid the gravitational pull of destructive gang culture