The shocking events at Southport brought a wave of familiar dread – here’s what I want the families to know

Former EastEnders star Brooke Kinsella’s beloved brother, Ben, was murdered in an unprovoked knife attack in 2008. Here, she reveals her own grief – and how she got through the most terrible of times

Actor Brooke Kinsella has said she is still heartbroken by the murder of her brother Ben, who was stabbed to death in north London 15 years ago (Family handout/PA)

Like so many others, the tragic news from Southport has left me utterly heartbroken. It is simply too much for all of us to comprehend: three innocent children, taken from this world in a senseless act of violence.

As I hold my breath, waiting for updates on the condition of the others, a wave of familiar dread washes over me. I know the pain that these families are now enduring. I have lived it.

In 2008, my beloved brother, Ben, was murdered in an unprovoked attack. He was just 16. The world my family knew shattered around us. Time stood still, and yet, it moved with relentless speed, carrying us into a reality we never imagined. Grief, a monstrous, all-consuming entity, became our constant companion.

The initial shock is numbing. You question your sanity, the fairness of life. There is a desperate search for answers, for a reason. But there often isn’t one.

To the families of Southport, I offer you my deepest condolences. I am now a mother myself and I know it must be a whole new level of pain you are feeling. There are no words that can even begin to alleviate your suffering but please know that you are not alone. There is sadly a community of people who understand your agony, who will walk with you through this darkness.

In the days and weeks ahead, you will experience a whirlwind of emotions. Anger, sadness, numbness, disbelief, guilt – they will all visit you. It’s important to allow yourself to feel everything. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Seek support. Talk to friends, family, or professionals. Sharing your experiences can be incredibly therapeutic – when you are ready.

The aftermath of such a tragedy is a long and arduous journey. There will be many moments of despair but there will also be moments of strength and resilience. I hope one day you can find some solace in the memories you shared with your loved ones and cherish the love you had for them.

In the years since Ben’s death, my family and I have dedicated our lives to preventing other families from experiencing the devastation we endured. The Ben Kinsella Trust was born from our grief, a testament to Ben’s memory and a beacon of hope for a safer future. Our work has been successful in helping over 35,000 young people to live safer lives. Our focuses are on education, early intervention and supporting young people to make positive choices.

We are not alone in this fight. Countless organisations and individuals are working tirelessly to address the root causes of knife crime. We need more investment in youth services, mental health support and opportunities for young people. And we need to listen to the voices of those who have been affected by knife crime, too.

I am so very sorry that we still aren’t there yet and that this is still happening. To our children. To anyone.

I often think about what Ben would say if he were here today. He quite simply loved life. He would be heartbroken by the violence that continues to plague our streets and destroy families, but I also believe he would be inspired by the courage and resilience of those working to create a better future for our young people. I hope one day we can get there.

Brooke Kinsella MBE is the co-founder of the Ben Kinsella Trust