South Carolina Republicans want to murder women for getting abortions because all life is sacred

But if you want to take an AR-15 to school, it’s probably fine

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The “forced birth and death cult” section of the Republican Party has poked its head above the parapet again this week to propose state executions for women who get abortions. The South Carolina bill — which they’ve chosen to call the South Carolina Prenatal Equal Protection Act of 2023 rather than something more appropriate like, say, the Murdering Women In The Name of Hating Murder Act — would open up the possibility of using the death penalty on women who underwent terminations. That’s because it seeks to claim that an embryo has the same rights as a person.

The bill, which promises “to afford equal protection of the laws to all preborn children from the moment of fertilization,” is sponsored by 21 lawmakers who all come from a party that likes to claim it stands for individual freedom and respecting the Constitution. Yes, I’m talking about the same Constitution that clearly states the separation of church and state is foundational to the country and its government. And yes, the South Carolina Murdering Women In The Name of Hating Murder Act gives as its reasoning the supposed fact that fetuses are “created in the image of God”. But logic has never been the GOP’s strong point.

This isn’t a bill that is expected to pass, dystopian as it is. Even other Republicans aren’t that into it; South Carolina representative Nancy Mace said on the House floor last week that she was particularly irked by the fact that it provided no exceptions for rape or incest. As much as rape and incest are terrible, horrible things, it’s really the “evangelicals summarily executing women for not being baby incubators” thing that offends me, rather than the lack of reasonable exceptions. But I understand female Republicans have to take what they can get these days.

Readers will be shocked to hear that every co-sponsor listed on this bill bar two representatives is male. They include Jordan Pace, whose website implores South Carolinans to “stop the RADICAL Democrats and donate now!” Jordan is very concerned that if the commies get more power, they could usher in such anti-Christian travesties such as universal healthcare. And healthcare can really get in the way of things like murdering women in the name of hating murder.

Abortion remains legal in South Carolina, after the state’s Supreme Court struck down a ban in January. The proposed ban, which would have restricted abortion to pre-six weeks’ gestation and therefore effectively disallowed it altogether, was overruled because judges said the state Constitution’s privacy clause allowed for abortion as a private family matter.

Like the South Carolina state Supreme Court, the Republican Party also used to be all about privacy in the home and keeping the government out of your business. If you want an assault weapon in your suburban home to protect you from Dark Brandon, for instance, most of them will still support that. South Carolina itself is super okay with you possessing most firearms. And if you don’t keep on popping out babies, then who else are the freedom fighters going to use as target practice in the next great American elementary school shooting?