Actually, it’s OK if your social media is a highlight reel

It’s not our responsibility to dull our lives down or share the difficult parts that we might want to forget, in order to make others feel better

‘Social media is supposed to be fun, a simple element of a distraction economy’ (AFP via Getty Images)

As this year draws to a close, our social media timelines are filling with the usual suspects: end of year threads detailing our accomplishments, mothers doting over their favourite days with their children, and videos capturing the best moments of the year. These posts are expected every December and used to feel fairly mundane and inoffensive. But recently, a new kind of social media behaviour has bloomed in response.

Disclaimers fill the likes of Twitter, Facebook and Instagram from social media users, reminding us that “social media is only a highlight reel” and not to feel bad if anyone’s end-of-year thrills are making you feel bogged down. These users remind us that behind every engagement, new job and child’s first steps is a missed parent’s evening, a lost promotion or a pitch that went nowhere. That people don’t necessarily mention their breakups or their losses in end-of-year highlights, and we rarely see “real life” on social media.

Off the back of this, many are feeling the pressure to sprinkle some bad moments and failures from the year into their posts, to bring social media away from the “highlight reel” idea. It makes sense for influencers and celebrities – who are idolised and whose posts are taken very literally – to do this, but ordinary social media users are now feeling the need to share “lowlights” too.

Some are even putting disclaimers on their end of year threads, ensuring others are not dismayed by their celebrations. I’ve even become swept up in that pressure.

As I wrote my own goodbye to 2021 on Twitter, which I use solely for work, I found myself feeling pressured to share some of the “bad stuff” on my feed, as though I couldn’t post my favourite pictures, milestones and work achievements from the year without levelling it with some failures for everyone else’s sake.

Before I’d given myself a moment to think over the implications of allowing 2021 to become associated with the worst parts of the year, I’d tweeted about the car accident and home eviction I’d faced amongst my work highlights. I prioritised softening the blow of my accomplishments for anyone who might look at my end of year thread and feel insecure over my own emotions, but I wish I hadn’t.

Those encouraging us to post about failures mean well. After all, social media sites make more than half of users feel inadequate according to a survey by Scope, and other people’s seemingly perfect lives play a key part in that insecurity. In the survey, 6 per cent of Facebook and Twitter users felt their achievements were inadequate when compared to the posts of others.

If a person sees a social media post packed with accomplishments and it feels like they have little to compare, negative feelings will inevitably come into play. But why would we expect to see so much real life on social media, when that’s not the point of it?

Social media is supposed to be fun, a simple element of distraction. We scroll through Instagram while on the toilet, in a restaurant when our partner leaves the table, during the advert breaks on our favourite shows. But in reality, we only spend around two hours a day on social media. Some research shows that users don’t think at all before they post, so it’s nothing short of impossible for social media to be indicative of real life.

To keep up to speed with all the latest opinions and comment sign up to our free weekly Voices Dispatches newsletter by clicking here

Investopedia says social media is mostly used to keep in touch with friends and to network career opportunities. And with this in mind, why would we want to share our most vulnerable moments, the accidents, the losses and the heartbreaks of the year? Those are unlikely to help us acquire a job, or connect with old friends. It’s the “highlight reel” that fosters those relationships.

Considering 2021 has been the second year in a row plagued by health anxiety, the fear of lockdowns and political unease, I’m all for us sharing our highlight reels. This year has been uniquely challenging and any accomplishments should be celebrated tenfold. I’m sure most people, particularly in such an anxious time, would like to see how you found moments of lightness and joy during the year.

Ultimately, it’s not our responsibility to dull our lives down or share the difficult parts we might want to forget in order to make others feel better. Instead, the onus should be on viewers to remind themselves that social media only captures a small amount of a person’s life and the rest is not actually any of our business.