A Lavatory Tsar? Another gimmick that would be utterly self-defeating

John Major’s ‘cones hotline’ was considered the gold-standard idea for a government out of ideas – this notion has been equally mocked, writes Tom Peck

What is Rishi Sunak if not the Toilet Tsar? Our rivers and seas are awash with sewage, and millions upon millions of people can feel their hopes and dreams being flushed away (PA Wire)

When you play the game of thrones you win or die, in this case of embarrassment. His Majesty’s Government has been mocked over the notion of appointing its own dedicated Lavatory Tsar.

Yes, that’s right. A Lavatory Tsar. Comparisons have been drawn with John Major’s “cones hotline”, long considered the gold-standard idea for a government out of ideas, but more than a quarter of a century later it has finally been superseded.

The government has distanced itself from the reports. But you can see why it got such a reaction, given equalities minister Kemi Badenoch has breathtaking form in this area. The most embarrassing thing I personally have ever witnessed, and from among a true embarrassment of riches, was at the launch of Ms Badenoch’s attempt to become the Conservative Party leader. In the atrium outside a hired room, a member of her staff had been told to scrawl the words MEN and WOMEN on two sheets of A4 paper and stick them with Sellotape to the doors of the toilets. This was her actual pitch to become the actual prime minister.