I spent Christmas Day online gaming – and had the best time of my life

Once the Christmas dinner was prepped, I logged on, put on my headphones and for the next few hours we chatted, laughed and played a game we all love, writes ardent gamer Charlotte Redding. I’m not embarrassed to say it was one of my favourite Christmases to date...

‘I know several couples that met and fell in love through online gaming,’ writes Charlotte. ‘The bonds you can forge in-game can last a lifetime’ (Charlotte Redding)

I’ve always been a gamer – with varying intensity throughout my adult life. But contrary to what you might expect, my love of online gaming is only getting stronger as I get older.

Now that I’m in my thirties, I’m even more grateful that I can boot up my computer, day or night – any day of the year – and immediately be connected to people with a shared interest who are looking for company themselves.

I had a bustling social calendar for 25 December, in the form of legacy raids in World of Warcraft with friends I speak to almost every day. Once the Christmas dinner was prepped, I logged on, put on my headphones and for the next few hours we chatted, laughed and played a game we all love. I’m not embarrassed to say it was one of my favourite Christmases to date.

I would have been bored and lonely without the gaming community. And even though our connection wasn’t physical, it was very real. In all meaningful senses, we “spent Christmas together”. We got to talk about everything we wanted to and none of the things we didn’t (can you really say the same about the average family Christmas?).

When my brother messaged to tell me he and his wife were expecting, my gaming friends were the first I told. And they were delighted to celebrate the lovely news.

I know several couples who have met and fallen in love through online gaming. The other members of their group are now godparents to their children, who themselves have taken up the hobby. The bonds you can forge in-game can last a lifetime.

We’ve come a long way in breaking down the negative gamer stereotype (dusty basement, living with parents, failure to launch-style shortcomings) but there still persists an assumption among those that don’t game that it is a fundamentally antisocial hobby. Nothing could be further from the truth.

People say that virtual friendships can’t compare to what you can get from “real friends”. And yes, while there are thousands of single-player games out there that will have you staring at a screen in silence, gaming can provide something many adults don’t have access to: community. It is one that didn’t suffer through lockdown in the pandemic, and it is one that can be achieved remotely, for anyone with accessibility issues. It’s entirely inclusive.

I view online games the same way I do any other sports club. You’ve got social members, a committee, a captain, serious players and casual. The only difference is that you’ve never seen their faces. Just like a five-aside football team, we have locker room chat and banter... a shared space where solid friendships can form, but you can also interact casually with some people you only know as a good goalie.

Detractors will say, “but how do you know these people are who they say they are?” To which I can only answer: you don’t. And it doesn’t matter.

One of the joys of online gaming is that you can finally be who you want to be. You can even try out an identity you might not be fully sure of declaring, yet, in the “real world”. And nobody cares. Nobody judges you for it. In the context of the game, all I really care about is whether we’ll be able to kill the boss together. If we get to know each other beyond that, great. If we don’t, I’ve still engaged in a social group activity that I love. It’s a win-win.

So, what made me decide to indulge in a virtual Christmas? Well, a couple of years ago, I decided to try it out – to have a fully solo Christmas, doing only what I wanted to do and not getting dragged into the pressure and expectations of “who you’re seeing when” (it’s worth noting I was a single woman who lived alone – no loved ones were harmed in the making of this experience).

Yet everyone in my “physical” life that I told about this decision gave me the same, terrified, wide-eyed response: “Are you sure?”... followed by an offer that I would be welcome at their house at any time if I “got lonely”.

What they didn’t understand was that I wasn’t lonely. I had plans. But because those plans were online, it was difficult for those outside the gaming community to even see them as valid in the face of the robust Christmas PR of physical togetherness.

It’s in the songs, the films, the seasonal specials: like it or loathe it, the common thread at this time of year is that you must be together. And I was (we were). I see no difference at all between the friends I’ve met gaming and those I’ve met in real life, save for the fact that the gamer side is far more diverse.

I can’t speak for all multiplayer communities, but MMORPGs (massive multiplayer online roleplay games) seem to attract people from all walks of life. The very nature of a roleplay game is that there is something to suit everyone – from the retiree players online at all hours of the day, farming and maintaining the guild bank; to the young adults fuelled by energy drinks up all night for the competitive sport of it.

Any gender, any age, anywhere in the world, everyone is represented. There is no real-world setting that could facilitate such a gathering.

So, stop worrying about the social lives of the gamers you know – and if you’re someone who is struggling for company over the holidays (or at any time at all), taking up an online game might just change your life. It did mine...