Naya Rivera's body has been found, police say. We should examine what her disappearance taught us

The reaction online to the Glee star's tragic disappearance and death says so much about female friendship, celebrity culture and the limits of social media

The search for Naya Rivera has officially ended, five days after she went missing at Lake Piru, a body of water approximately 50 miles northwest of Los Angeles. Authorities announced early Monday that a body had been found, the result of what they have described as extensive recovery efforts. A few hours later, they said at a press conference that they were confident the body was Rivera’s, quashing any remaining hope that the 33-year-old actor would be found alive.

Anyone who has followed the news cycle surrounding Rivera’s disappearance would be hard-pressed to describe it as anything other than tense, often contentious, and driven by a confusing mix of anxiety, uncertainty, and grief.

In the days after Rivera went missing, thousands followed the recovery efforts left by the local law enforcement agency, the Ventura County Sheriff’s office. Officials released the 911 call that alerted them of Rivera’s disappearance. They shared security camera footage of her renting a pontoon boat with her four-year-old son – her last known movements at the time. Many, many fans chimed in to give their opinion on the search and recovery operation, questioning the need to pause it at nightfall, urging authorities not to give up, and telling them, repeatedly, to search the area around the lake in addition to the water.

Perhaps in response to these comments, the sheriff’s office made an apparent effort to show just how many resources they’d deployed in their search for Rivera, from the use of a “sophisticated sonar” to collaborations from other agencies. They shared video footage and photos of the operation, on one occasion seeking to highlight the lack of visibility in the lake’s waters.

Throughout the five days of Rivera’s disappearance, her former Glee co-stars also seemed to struggle with how to respond properly – if at all. Lea Michele, a former lead on the show, even appeared to delete or deactivate her Twitter account after she was tagged in a large volume of abusive messages. While Michele has come under particular scrutiny of the past few weeks after she was accused of bad behavior on set by a number of former co-stars, she is far from the only person who has faced negative attention because of the way she responded to Rivera’s disappearance.

Across the internet, other Glee stars who didn’t directly address Rivera’s disappearance on their social media accounts were questioned about their silence. Why haven’t they said anything, people wanted to know? Didn’t they think it would be appropriate to show support? The demands weren’t only directed at women, but they were mostly; the expectation seemed to be that Rivera’s female friendships would have been especially impactful, and that they owed her a public demonstration. That climate prompted Amber Patrice Riley to tweet the following message on Sunday, while Rivera remained missing: “Show some respect. All our energy is going toward helping find Naya and praying for her safe return and for her family. No one owes anyone online a performance of grief. This is very real and devastating. Focus on Naya and her family. Not us. We don’t matter right now.”

Rivera’s disappearance highlighted all the ways in which social media isn’t built for uncertainty, and all the ways in which uncertainty, when processed collectively and online, tends to metabolize into angst. Celebrities were expected to react to the news of a disappearance and that of a potential death – authorities had said they believed Rivera had drowned in the lake, but absent a body and an autopsy, that remained a hypothesis rather than a statement of fact. Some viewed their reluctance to speak out as callous, while others deemed it understandable.

I fell somewhere in the middle: while I can see why some might expect a celebrity’s former co-stars to share a message of support in those circumstances, I can also see why some, like Riley, preferred to perhaps wait until they knew more. In any case, we need to grow out of the idea that someone’s level of care or concern for a given situation is proportional to how much they discuss it on social media. And we certainly need to stop looking to celebrities with the expectation that they will show us the way through a crisis – something they are not always fit, nor willing, to do.

Celebrity culture aside, public involvement in a missing person case can end up being a double-edged sword. On the one hand, media attention has many times proven to be a crucial factor in ensuring a case is investigated as thoroughly as possible. But on the other hand, the practical implications of having members of the public join in a search and recovery effort can be unpredictable. When Rivera was still missing, the sheriff’s office shared a reminder to “those intent on searching for Naya Rivera on your own”, telling them that: “1. The lake is closed. 2. Temps are already in the nineties. 3. The terrain around the lake is very steep and rugged.” The warning went on: “Our teams are well-equipped and highly trained. We don’t want to have to rescue you.”

Now that Rivera has been found, it’s time to honour her memory and celebrate the body of work she leaves behind. At just 33, Rivera, a former child actor, was a SAG Award and People’s Choice Award winner and a Grammy nominee with numerous credits to her name. Many fans will forever treasure her performance as cheerleader Santana Lopez in Glee – a portrayal which critics deemed, after one especially moving episode, “heartbreakingly perfect”.

This is a devastating time for Rivera’s family and for her co-workers. On social media, we owe them and each other a little kindness today. We also owe them the benefit of the doubt: the way they’re feeling inside may well be miles away from the way they express themselves on Twitter.