Meghan and Harry face even more unwanted attention thanks to Finding Freedom. They deserve better

There are plenty of conversations to be had about the roles of the Sussexes and the other royals – but not the one we are currently having about the new biography

“Explosive” new extracts from the forthcoming biography chronicling the story of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s relationship with the royal family have landed over the weekend, causing a predictably huge stir.

I won’t add to the speculation as to whether the Sussexes played a part in the book, something that they both deny. But voyeuristically salivating over Finding Freedom at any level – whether you are for Meghan and Harry, a die-hard defender of the wider royal family, or a major critic – will find nothing more than misery.

You probably already have an opinion of the couple, a feeling of which “camp” you slot into. You probably have celebrities you love, or absolutely can’t stand. You probably think you know me just by reading this one article.

That is akin to watching three seconds of a trailer and deeming yourself capable of summing up the whole film. We make huge and damning snap judgements about people we know very little about all the time, and it’s just not healthy.

A one-sided relationship is never going to work out. Just look at angry, red-faced Piers Morgan whenever Meghan’s name comes up – does he radiate joy?

Is Harry just like us? Did Meghan (always her, never him) leak the stories herself? Unless you are an actual friend or family member of the pair, and we certainly know who those are, you’ll never really know. For you, their lives will provide entertainment at best, resentment at worst. But caring so passionately about Meghan and Harry isn’t good for them, and I would argue it isn’t good for anyone.

There is enough to resent in this world without adding to the list two humans who ultimately will not influence your life. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are in the public eye. They know that, but that does not mean the public own them. The interest from the public means that a book like this will always be financially viable.

The gossip around the royal family is like much in the celebrity world; the ubiquitous use of unnamed sources gives the public a level of separation that somehow makes it easier to consume. The human brain is not well equipped to distinguish between real relationships and – as psychologists call them – “parasocial” or imagined ones, so would you be doing yourself a favour to ignore the gossip.

But it makes us feel better, doesn’t it? If Meghan throws a “temper tantrum”, then we can feel better about our own bad behaviour. Which, by the way, is part of being a human being – but that does not mean we should give into the temptation all the time. Celebrity obsession fosters unhealthy standards for all involved. Ultimately, gossip is damaging and useless to living any sort of happy or fulfilling life for those at either end of it.

“The book is likely to make particularly hurtful reading for the Queen,” one report has fumed. I wrote a book about myself, but miraculously my grandad already knew the story, because I’d already told him without the help of “sources”. I think the Queen can likely make a phone call to Harry and talk it through without pre-ordering a copy to Balmoral.

The Queen has previously wished Harry and Meghan luck “to start building a happy and peaceful new life”. The way we can all do this is to put down Finding Freedom and find ourselves a nice novel instead.

Likewise, if Harry does really now think his brother William is a “snob”, then it’s likely all concerned know prior to publication. Talk of there being no way back for Meghan and Harry “once this book is published” is a certain nonsense – there may well be a true family rift and no current way back, but what should it matter to us?

Books should be about escapism or a topic you want to learn more about – not two individuals you’ll never meet but might be incredibly angered by. The Sussexes have a right to build a life without private matters, which have little actual public interest, continually entering the public domain.

There will always be an interest in this – and I know I am writing about it now – but all the talk of “vipers” and “spats” give the public little. Talk about royal charity work, or how they can lead the conversation on the big topics concerning the world, such as the climate crisis or social care.

The royals know they will face scrutiny on this, or how much they offer value for the taxpayer, but that is a very different conversation to the one that has happened over the last couple of days.

The only people set to truly gain anything from Finding Freedom are the authors and the publisher – and they are free to do so – but Meghan and Harry will not, and nor will the state of the general discourse around the royals.