Matt Forde’s right to grumble – I’d never have taken my babies to a comedy show
The amount of vomit and poo they produced with effortless spontaneity would have rendered the experience miserable for all concerned
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Comedian Matt Forde has spoken in the past about growing up on benefits in a single-parent family. His mum was a former nun.
So some on Twitter clearly expected him to show a bit more Christian forgiveness towards the parent unable to stifle the cries of their baby which interrupted his Edinburgh fringe.
Forde got a roasting when he tweeted: “Someone brought their baby to my show last night. Sadly it derailed large parts of it because they wouldn’t do the decent thing and just leave when it started crying. I get that it must be tough as a new parent but please, don’t bring babies to adult shows. It’s always a problem.”
“Sarah” spoke for a fair few when she tweeted in response: “Good grief. Well if I ever planned to come to a show I certainly won’t be any more! What an attitude to have. As a parent of two, I’d be feeling sorry for the parent of the crying baby – it’s hard enough without this kind of attitude!”
You might have thought Forde could muster some memories of being dragged around by his mum, in the absence of expensive childcare. In the midst of a cost of living crisis, many working parents must surely sympathise with a policy of avoiding unnecessary babysitting costs where possible.
What’s more, Forde is a talented performer. Some might wonder if it was really too much to treat the baby as a heckler and riff along to the bawling. Babies cry. It’s in the same category as bears doing what they do in the woods.
It’s many moons ago now but I remember being a new parent and how isolating it was. It felt like a minor miracle when I escaped from the house to do some of the “grown-up” things I once took for granted. I felt overjoyed when the local cinema ran “Big Scream” sessions, airing films for harassed parents and their grumpy infants.
But here’s the thing: my own recollections of the challenges of the early days persuade me that Forde was indeed right to grumble.
I’d never have dreamt of taking either of our babies to a comedy show. It simply wouldn’t have been a laughing matter. The amount of vomit and poo they produced with effortless spontaneity would have rendered the experience miserable for all concerned.
Maybe “attachment parenting” is possible for those mythical “dream babies” who barely emit a whimper (let alone a poo). But strapping the baby to your chest until the age of three never seemed much fun for either party. It always strikes me as inherently unfeminist too, offering the illusion of maternal freedom but in reality tying a new mum down.
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It’s also why, although I sympathise with MP Stella Creasy’s campaign to secure full maternity leave for MPs, and the suggestion that parliament still needs to be a friendlier environment for women, I also think it’s right there are some spaces that can’t be “child-friendly”.
I appreciate I speak from a position of privilege, as someone who was able to pay for quality childcare. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting a return to the Victorian era of children being “seen and not heard”.
But in fairness to Forde: give the guy a break! Don’t turn a fringe show into a family affair until the kids are old enough to enjoy it themselves.
That time will come soon enough. One of my vomiting babies is about to leave home. I’d better take her to Forde’s show while there’s still time.
Cathy Newman is presenter and investigations editor of Channel 4 News