Carnage, chaos and cabernet: event planning as a top sommelier

Our anonymous secret sommelier gives us another glimpse into the messy, wild, and sometimes scary world of the upscale restaurant industry

There are empty bottles everywhere and my white Argos fridges have been ransacked (Getty)

We are a month into the restaurant being open, and I’m now fully acquainted with every glaring error that was made in the construction of my workplace. There are small issues (like glasses racks being too high for our shorter waiters to reach), medium issues (like a glass washing-machine that seems to break as many glasses as it cleans), and large issues. My largest issue, currently, is the lack of wine fridges. Instead, there’s wine stored all over the restaurant. Bottles are always being broken, spoiled or stolen.

I’ve been petitioning the directors for wine fridges since I started, but I’ve fallen at the second hurdle: we don’t have any money. Opening was pushed back and back – we’ve spent months paying rent without trading, and I’m going to be without specialist refrigeration for nine months, at least. The compromise has been three white, domestic fridges, hidden under the bar in the smoking area.

The lack of funds doesn’t just affect the wine department: The bar doesn’t have enough glasses for busy nights, the kitchen only has one oven, and the “Events Team” isn’t a team – it’s a second email address belonging to our general manager.