Liz Truss’s conference speech: What she said – and what she really meant

Our chief political commentator imagines the prime minister’s interior monologue as she spoke to Conservatives in Birmingham

What Liz Truss said: We gather at a vital time for the United Kingdom. These are stormy days... In these tough times, we need to step up.

What she really meant: I stepped up and tripped, but I have hastily brushed myself off and I am still here. I know that expectations are low, so if I keep it short I can get through this.

What she said: I am driven in this mission by my firm belief in the British people. I believe that you know best how to spend your own money.

What she meant: So we will borrow lots of other people’s money and give it to you.

What she said: Let’s remember where we were when I entered Downing Street.

What she meant: Some of you will never forget it. You were hiding behind the sofa, and it turns out that you were right to be afraid.

What she said: Average energy bills were predicted to soar above £6,000 a year. We faced the highest tax burden that our country had had for 70 years. And we were told that we could do nothing about it.

What she meant: Allow me to construct an elaborate straw person. The Liberal Democrats first proposed an energy price freeze. Then Labour took it up. Finally I agreed I had no choice but to copy them. But I will present myself as the only one prepared to act.

What she said: Low growth means… the parts of our country that I really care about falling even further behind... We need to fund the furthest behind first.

What she meant: That is why our tax cuts will go more to the better off than the rest, which means more to people living in London and the South East, the parts of the country that are actually falling behind if you look at things through our new eyes.

What she said: We need to grow the pie so that everyone gets a bigger slice.

What she meant: It is a magic pie. If you water it with borrowed money, it will grow.

What she said: We need to do things differently.

What she meant: I am as good as my word. No other government has lost so much support so quickly with such little prospect of getting it back.

What she said: Whenever there is change, there is disruption. And not everyone will be in favour of change. But everyone will benefit from the result – a growing economy and a better future.

What she meant: I know it is hard to accept that there must be a Labour government, but we will all be better off as a result.

What she said: Over the summer we had a robust debate and the Conservative Party will always be the party of low taxes.

What she meant: This may be the worst time for unfunded tax cuts, but who won the leadership election, eh, Rishi? I will destroy this party rather than let you have it.

What she said: We will keep an iron grip on the nation’s finances. I believe in fiscal responsibility.

What she meant: I do not believe in fiscal responsibility.

What she said: I believe in getting value for the taxpayer. I believe in sound money and the lean state.

What she meant: I will stoke inflation and organise the biggest state intervention in the energy market ever seen.

What she said: We will bring down debt as a proportion of national income.

What she meant: We will borrow so much that no one, least of all the independent Office for Budget Responsibility, can work out how we could possibly meet this target.

What she said: We are seeing rising interest rates worldwide in the wake of Putin’s war and Covid. The Federal Reserve has been hiking rates in America and has signalled more rises to come. Inflation is high across the world’s major economies.

What she meant: The big boys done it and ran away, leaving me to take the blame. It is true that I have made things worse, but it is not fair. I deserve a pilot’s badge too.

What she said: We must break down the barriers to growth built up in our system over decades. Decisions take too long.

What she meant: What we need are rushed, poorly thought-through decisions. I have delivered what I promised.

What she said: I love business. I love enterprise. I love people who take responsibility, start their own businesses and invest.

What she meant: I worked for that plucky start-up, Shell plc.

What she said: Next year, we will host the Global Investment Summit.

What she meant: What entrepreneurs always say is that they want more meetings.

What she said: We are the party that got Brexit done, and we will realise on the promise of Brexit.

What she meant: It was nothing to do with me, because I voted Remain, but I am here to take credit for whatever you lot believe the benefits of Brexit might be.

What she said: Over the coming weeks, my team of ministers will set out more about what we are going to do to get Britain moving.

What she meant: I have asked if anyone has any ideas by close of play on Friday.

What she said: Our fantastic deputy prime minister and health secretary will deliver for patients so they can expect a GP appointment within two weeks. She will ensure that those who need urgent care will be seen on the same day.

What she meant: Definition of “two weeks” and “urgent” to follow.

What she said: We are working to put this country on the path to long-term success.

What she meant: The other lot have left the place in a terrible state, and I have turned it into a smoking ruin, but this is a price to pay in the short term for a better tomorrow.

What she said: We are opening more gas fields in the North Sea and delivering more renewables and nuclear energy. That is how we will protect the great British environment, deliver on our commitment to net zero and tackle climate change.

What she meant: We will burn more fossil fuels before we burn less.

What she said: The anti-growth coalition … peddle the same old answers. It’s always more taxes, more regulation and more meddling. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

What she meant: My name is Margaret Thatcher. You have just woken from a deep sleep. The date is 1990.

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What she said: In this new era we are taking a new approach.

What she meant: I am going back to the old approach, because I now realise why previous prime ministers brought people of different views into their cabinets and consulted them before making decisions.

What she said: The status quo is not an option.

What she meant: The Conservative Party must change its leadership election rules.

What she said: We must stay the course.

What she meant: Expect further U-turns.