Lewis Hamilton wouldn’t have reacted to his niece dressing in ‘boy’s clothes’ in the same way he did to his nephew wearing a dress

Lewis Hamilton apologised for sharing a video in which he mocked his nephew (Getty)

My Christmas this year was interrupted, as I’m sure it was for many people across the UK, by Lewis Hamilton telling his nephew “boys don’t wear dresses”.

I was upset. And although I hope Hamilton’s nephew continues to laugh at adults telling him he should dress a certain way because of the gender written on his birth certificate – as he did in the video – I know the likelihood is he will probably soon become reluctant to wear a dress. This is because he will doubtless learn, like many of us have, that there are many people out there who take the same view as his uncle.

I know, because I’ve been there myself. I was stamped “F” on my birth certificate, and despite never accepting what it truly meant to “be a girl”, my childhood was – as were my teenage years – marked with a constant sense of struggle over who I was, who I was expected to be and how other people would see me because I related much more with masculinity than femininity.

Like Hamilton’s nephew, I wore clothes made for a gender that wasn’t my own. I did it because I preferred boys’ clothes – it was as simple as that. But after being bullied at school for having the same pair of trousers as a boy in my class, I felt like I had to dress differently. That switch wasn’t just a change of fabric – it was a direct challenge to my freedom to be myself.

Later, I cut my hair short, but wasn’t brave enough to use clippers because people around me told me I would “look like a boy” if I did. I began to obsess over boy bands, telling everyone I would marry a certain lead singer (too embarrassing to admit who), when what I really wanted was to look like the members of the group. It was an obsession which I mistook at the time for a crush, but in reality was a deep envy.

Despite these challenges, I realise I had it much easier than some. Yes, I changed the way I dressed when I got to a certain age – but my parents had been fine with me wearing boys’ clothes for most of my childhood. Yes, I was reluctant to cut my hair too short, but I eventually did it anyway – it just took a number of years. And yes, although I envied boys’ ability to “be boys”, I also grew up playing with Spider-Man action figures, climbing trees and learning how to skateboard.

I was considered “different”. But to many I was just a “tomboy” and this was OK.

Yet there is no equivalent for when the roles are reversed. A boy who acts feminine is considered “sissy”, a “pussy”, and many other derogatory terms – many of which, like the two mentioned, are actually also insulting to women.

In fact, looking back, I remember some people even praised me for being “boyish”. I was called strong, brave, individual… and a whole host of other positive words. I know this isn’t everyone’s experience and I’m not ignorant to the negativity that I faced also, but I think it’s fair to say that young boys are ridiculed much more for acting in a “feminine” way than girls are for acting in a “masculine” way. And this trend also seems to continue far into adulthood.

Most people, for example, accept that women wear trousers nowadays. But try to introduce school uniform policy that says that boys can wear skirts to school and there is uproar.

Gender norms are deeply ingrained in our society – and we see this in queer and transgender communities as well as in straight, cisgendered ones.

For example, there’s the stigma many effeminate gay men face from more masculine gay men – who believe that all gay men should look and act like the lead characters in Brokeback Mountain. Or the fact that the huge backlash against transgender rights has predominantly targeted transgender women and feminine non-binary people above transgender men, and more masculine non-binary people like myself.

Why does society have such a deep discomfort with people who were assigned male presenting in a feminine way, or coming out as transgender or non-binary? Why is it that even when straight, cisgendered men want to put on a dress people recoil in horror in a way they wouldn’t if a straight, cisgendered women put on a pair of trousers?

Here lies the problem of masculinity being valued above femininity. Masculinity, being typically associated with men, has historically been seen as the more favourable of the two. And therefore for girls to act in a masculine way is seen as empowering, whereas for boys to act in a feminine way is seen as degrading.

Would Lewis Hamilton have recoiled so greatly at his niece playing with a football or wearing a Batman costume? I highly doubt it. “Femininity” and “femaleness” are already considered inferior.

We must challenge gender norms for the sake of all genders – and simply let people be who they are, without reinforcing hierarchies and continuing to ridicule.