Keir Starmer’s big speech: what he said – and what he really meant

Our chief political commentator reads between the lines of the Labour leader’s first (virtual) conference address

Keir Starmer, after delivering his speech to Labour’s online event (EPA)

What Keir Starmer said: I’m delighted that we’re here in Doncaster.  

What he really meant: It’s taking the old trick of travelling to a symbolic place to deliver a speech to an audience mostly of journalists and the local organiser’s friends to its extreme: going to a symbolic place to deliver a speech to an empty room.  

What he said: My wife’s mum was born and grew up here – just next to the racecourse. We’re regulars here.  

What he meant: I am from Surrey.  

What he said: Labour will act in the national interest. We will be a constructive opposition. We will support whatever reasonable steps are necessary to save lives and protect our NHS.

What he meant: There is a “but” coming.

What he said: But I also want to say this: There should be nothing inevitable about a second lockdown. It would be a sign of government failure, not an act of God.  

What he meant: We will pretend to be a constructive opposition while exploiting the crisis for all it is worth.  

What he said: Instead of getting a grip, the government has lost control. Our testing system collapsed just when we needed it most.

What he meant: I mean this in an earnest constructive spirit.  

What he said: This is a country that has given me so much … To be able to give my parents what they said was one of the proudest moments of their lives: to be there, with me, at Buckingham Palace as I was awarded a knighthood for services to criminal justice.

What he meant: Don’t call me Sir.  

What he said: Family values mean the world to me. I was lucky enough to grow up in a loving family and I have the great joy now of a family of my own. The mission of the Labour party I lead is to extend that same opportunity to everyone.

What he meant: Everyone should have lots of families (are we sure about this bit?).

What he said: Public services are neglected, cut back, and left to decline. For a party called the Conservative party, they don’t seem to conserve very much.

What he meant: For real conservatism, vote Labour.  

What he said: A crisis reveals character like nothing else. And I think we’ve learnt a lot about this prime minister. Tory backbenchers know it. His cabinet knows it. We all know it. He’s just not serious.  

What he meant: I am a serious person for serious times.  

What he said: While Boris Johnson was writing flippant columns about bendy bananas, I was defending victims and prosecuting terrorists. While he was being sacked by a newspaper for making up quotes, I was fighting for justice and the rule of law.

What he meant: I am boring but you know what is good for you.  

What he said: On Brexit, let me be absolutely clear. The debate between Leave and Remain is over. We’re not going to be a party that keeps banging on about Europe.  

What he meant: If Labour members keep quiet about it – and thank goodness I abolished our physical conference – maybe Leave voters will forget I tried to stop Brexit.  

What he said: When you lose an election in a democracy, you deserve to. You don’t look at the electorate and ask them: “What were you thinking?” You look at yourself and ask: “What were we doing?”

What he meant: No, we did not “win the argument”, Jeremy.  

What he said: This is a party under new leadership.

What he meant: This is a party under new leadership.

What he said: When you look back to 1945, 1964 and 1997 you learn an important lesson. The lesson is don’t look back, look to the future.

What he meant: When you look back, you realise that you shouldn’t have wasted this section of the speech on looking back, you should look forward. Let us pretend the last five years of this party’s history never happened.  

What he said: What we say at the next general election isn’t written yet. But it will be rooted in Labour values. It won’t sound like anything you’ve heard before. It will sound like the future arriving.  

What he meant: The policies of the 2017 and 2019 manifestos that I was elected to defend? Gone. Instead I want you to imagine what noise the future makes as it pulls into platform 3.  

What he said: Our care workers are heroes. But the social care system in Britain is a disgrace to a rich nation. The Tories have had a decade to sort it out, but they’ve done nothing.  

What he meant: Johnson cannot pretend to be a new government. I am preparing the ground for a “14 wasted years” theme at the 2024 election.  

What he said: I can see in my mind’s eye the country I want us to be. Properly funded universal public services. World-class education which unleashes everyone’s potential.

What he meant: I have a dream. It is quite a dull one, but bear with.  

What he said: An economy that doesn’t force people to move hundreds of miles just to find a decent job.  

What he meant: People should stay where they’re put.  

What he said: So to those people in Doncaster and Deeside, in Glasgow and Grimsby, in Stoke and in Stevenage, to those who have turned away from Labour, I say this: we hear you.

What he meant: We hear that you want to be twinned with another random place in Britain that starts with the same letter and where Labour lost last year.  

What he said: Never again will Labour take you or the things you care about for granted. And I ask you: Take another look at Labour. We’re under new leadership. We love this country as you do. This is the country I grew up in and this is the country I will grow old in. And I want it to be the country I know it can be.  

What he meant: I am an alien who talks about this country as if I have just arrived from outer space.  

What he said: I know the good a Labour government can do. And I’m already looking forward to it. Thank you.

What he meant: Thanking you in advance for your cooperation.