Just about a tenner's worth of this, that and the other
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Your support makes all the difference.TEN dishes that, despite having the status of delicacies, are actually quite disgusting to eat:
Laver bread
Okra
Jugged hare
Jellied eels
Sweetbreads
Andouillettes
Snails
Oysters
Tripe
Those funny little Scottish meat pies with baked beans on top
Ten things that women usually have and men do not usually have:
A spare paper tissue
Dates of loved ones' birthdays
A safety pin
A spare passport photo of self
A good way of cooking left-over cold pork, five courgettes and a tin of exotic Italian mushrooms
The knowledge that, of all the funny things created by God, there is little funnier than the sight of a man wearing nothing but socks
Photographs of offspring
An ability to see that what a man fondly thinks of as an old habit is actually a problem
An effective but uncomfortable solution to that problem
A touching belief that given time, and the right woman, any man can be reformed
Ten foods we are more likely to read about than ever to taste:
Four and twenty blackbirds
Clay-baked hedgehog, gypsy style
Locusts
Pemmican
Manna
Ambrosia
Starlings' tongues
100-year-old eggs
Rook pie
Dog
Ten sources of personal social embarrassment that, however undignified, are self-inflicted:
An undone button
Discovering a piece of spinach on your teeth and knowing you haven't eaten spinach for days
Finding shaving foam or lipstick on your face at the end of the day that nobody has told you about
Shirt hanging out at the back
Getting out of a shower, switching off the shower and then discovering a well-soaped, unrinsed area of your body
Not being sure, as you prepare to get dressed, whether the underwear you are seriously thinking of getting into is fresh for today or left over from yesterday
Smelling someone else who is wearing too much aftershave or scent, and wondering, as you reel away, if you smell the same
Attempting to kiss a woman on the other cheek when she has clearly already decided that one cheek was quite enough
The sound of two strips of Velcro being parted, by you
Apologising for an embarrassing noise that, in fact, has just been made by someone else
Ten words that are only found in crossword puzzles:
Ormer
Hance
Hele
Err
Skink
Ling
Erne
Ness
Tor
Brae
Ten people who always used three names, including one quite unnecessary middle name:
John Julius Norwich
John Selwyn Gummer
Maxwell Davies
James Robertson Justice
Terence Trent D'Arby
Nat King Cole
Piers Paul Read
Alfred Lord Tennyson
Gerard Manley Hopkins
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Ten performers who decided they could make do with one name:
Madonna
Sting
Morrissey
Prince
Liberace
Layton & Johnson
Lulu
Coluche
Arletty
Ten almost useless words beginning with gn-:
Gnomonic - appertaining to sundials
Gnosis - knowledge
Gnathic - relating to the jaw
Gnomic - consisting of gnomes
Gnomes - maxims or aphorisms
Gnomology - collections of maxims
Gneiss - kind of rock
Gnathoplasty - formation of cheek by plastic surgery
Gnosiology - philosophy dealing with cognition
Gnight - Australian farewell.
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