In my heatwave uniform of bra and pants, I’m not convinced I could pass muster in Rees-Mogg’s uptight office

I haven’t a clue about workplace etiquette these days, but I gather there’s a lot of team playing and not slagging anyone off in the toilets or drawing rude pictures on steamed-up windows

Letter of the law: the new leader of the Commons has issued staff with a strict style guide (Reuters)

The new government is barely a week old and apparently Jacob Rees-Mogg, as the newly appointed leader of the Commons, has already begun dishing out rules for his new staff.

Actually, if you read the small print, the laws Jakey boy wants laying down are some years old, but as there’s nothing wrong with a bit of recycling, let’s just remind ourselves of what my fellow speccy four eyes finds acceptable or not in the workplace.

Well for starters there’s a long list of words he’d rather not hear bandied about the office, including “hopeful”, “yourself”, “equal” and “unacceptable”. Then there’s some stuff about typography and grammar, including a reminder to double-space after full stops and to avoid commas after the word “and”, he is also requesting that all non-titled males be given the suffix “esquire” and that imperial rather than metric measurements should be used at all times.