The Harry Potter reboot is doomed from the start

The new HBO series can’t help but fail to capture the magic of the original – and it’s the lead actors who are going to get the blame

Isn’t it weird how everything from our childhoods is so much better than the things that come out today, in the despicable present? Ask anybody, no matter their age, and they’ll tell you how much better things were in the past: films were better, kids were more respectful, and Istanbul was still called Constantinople.

It’s why Hollywood can’t help but remake, reboot, and reimagine the same few franchises over and over again, hoping to capture the magic of the original and somehow failing every single time.

Next up on the nostalgic chopping block? The Harry Potter series, which HBO plans to reboot as a television series.

The company recently put out an open casting call for the roles of Harry, Ron and Hermione, and while I’m sure that pushy parents the world over are ready to experience the ultimate vicarious theatre kid high, I have terrible news for them: our penchant for romanticising the past means that the kids they cast in those roles are already doomed.

While the franchise hasn’t really aged the best – for reasons we don’t have to get into here – for some people the original adaptations of the Harry Potter books are sacrosanct. Did you see that video of people counting down the arrival of the Hogwarts Express at King’s Cross, only for them to go ballistic when it didn’t arrive? I’d call their devotion cult-like, but cult manifestos tend to be better written.

It’s the fourth highest grossing film series of all time, despite only having 11 instalments to its name (the MCU, which takes the number one spot, has 34). The leads all managed to avoid the typical pitfalls of child stardom, and went on to become well-adjusted role models. They’re so well regarded that they’ve managed to weather the controversies surrounding their author, and by some miracle have maintained their reputation as a family-friendly Christmas staple.

This reboot, by contrast, is already starting on the back foot. Several stars of the original series have distanced themselves from the project, and a few have distanced themselves from the franchise altogether, speaking out against JK Rowling’s views on transgender people.

Warner Bros Discovery, the company producing the series, has found itself in dire financial straits, with shares falling 70 per cent in the past two years. The company has also drawn the ire of both consumers and creatives, by shelving anticipated projects such as Batgirl and Coyote vs Acme after they had already been completed and ready to release.

If you think all of that sounds like the perfect recipe for a boycott from the socially conscious left, you’d be wrong, because there’s a good chance their ideological opponents will be swearing off a trip to Hogwarts right along with them. The casting call says that it will consider, for every role, “qualified performers, without regard to ethnicity, sex, disability, race, sexual orientation, gender identity, or any other basis protected by law unless otherwise specifically indicated”.

Does that mean we’ll finally get the Black, disabled, LGBT+ Ron Weasley of my wildest Tumblr dreams? Probably not, but the series isn’t expected to release until 2026, which gives the anti-woke brigade plenty of time to do their favourite thing: get mad about something that probably isn’t even happening.

As the faces of this new series, these kids are going to have to deal with every parasocial interaction from an entitled fanbase, every screeching millennial accusation that they aren’t as good as their predecessors, and every culture war nightmare that comes their way. I wish I could say the fans are better than all those, but if the constant harassment of Star Wars and Marvel actors tells us anything, it’s that we just can’t have nice things.

All that being said, I really do wish them all the best. I remember when the original trio was announced way back in August 2000, and being immediately suspicious that the actors wouldn’t live up to the versions of the characters I’d built up in my head (I was 10, give me a break).

They assuaged those fears almost immediately, and went on to have the kinds of careers that keep Disney kids up at night. Far from being another Hollywood casualty, they defied expectations and used their platforms to speak out against intolerance and support worthy causes.

Of all the magic this reboot is going to try and recapture from the original films, that’s the thing I hope they get right most of all. The world doesn’t need another Harry Potter adaptation – but it could use another Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson.