Can you ever be too much of a crank for the Greens?

For all the excitement at their first party conference since winning four seats at the general election, the Greens gathering in Manchester manage to find a cloud attached to every silver lining, writes Joe Murphy

Wassisname: Adrian Ramsay, co-leader of the Greens, who opened the party’s Manchester conference on his own, was unrecognised by 84 per cent of Green voters in a YouGov poll (Getty)

Not since Ryan Gosling stole the show in Barbie has the supporting actor had such a happy break.

Until a few minutes after 2pm, the Green Party was co-led as usual by Carla Denyer and Wassisname, you know, that clean-cut fella in the neat suit and specs?

Everyone knows Carla: she’s the sassy, smiley, lipsticky star of the show. While Wotchamaflip… he’s absolutely perfect to go on Question Time from Anglesey. More of a consort, really, like a male black widow spider.

So as the Greens gathered in high spirits, whooping and cheering, in Manchester for the first party conference since they won a record four MPs and 2 million votes at the general election, everyone expected the pair to deliver the big leadership speech as a duet.

Then at 2pm, fortune beamed upon Ken. Onto the stage came Hannah Spencer, the party’s candidate for Manchester mayor who does a very good impression of Sarah Lancashire in her Coronation Street days, with “some not so good news”.

“Our wonderful co-leader, Carla, is not well,” revealed Hannah. Someone groaned audibly, as though pained.

Cue a video message from Carla herself from her hotel room where she is confined for the next three days, missing what promised to be less of a conference and more “a huge celebration”.

“Thanks to Adrian for stepping into the breach,” she added. Adrian? Of course, she means Thingammybob. Adrian Ramsay, co-leader of the Greens, who went unrecognised by 84 per cent of Green voters in a YouGov poll earlier this year.

Ramsay sprang onto the stage solo to whoops and cheers, wearing the biggest smile seen in politics since John Major unexpectedly won the 1992 election.

“Wishing Carla well,” he smiled, basking in the applause. “It certainly does show yet again the benefits of having party co-leaders.” More clapping.

This was possibly the easiest-to-please audience at any political gathering in history. Ramsay was whooped and whaaaayed every time he paused speaking. They were ecstatic at every mention of the four new MPs, or the call to make Labour “bolder and braver”, or the vow to halt new oil and gas fields.

You can be sure that Keir Starmer, despite winning literally 100 times as many seats at Westminster in his historic landslide, will get nothing like such an easy ride in his gathering this month.

Ramsay also had an unstressed canter through the morning media round, with some broadcasters seemingly yet to accept the Greens as a serious political group to be challenged, rather than small fry deserving the occasional duty airtime.

“Lots to go at there,” said Sky’s Anna Jones in the manner of someone who drifted off in a meeting and then realised it was her turn to speak, after a Ramsay monologue on the Green’s greatest hits, including new taxes on the wealthy and an attack on Labour’s “cruel and unnecessary” winter fuel payment cut.

Over on Today, Nick Robinson gave Ellie Chowns, the Green MP for North Herefordshire, a much sterner grilling about nimbyism in East Anglia, specifically the recent opposition of a newly elected Adrian Ramsay, MP for Waveney Valley, to the erection of unsightly pylons in his constituency to connect new green and clean wind turbines to the National Grid.

“Actually, that’s a complete misrepresentation,” poo-pooed Chowns in a how-dare-you sort of voice. The reality, she said, was that Ramsay “is a constituency MP – he is representing his constituency views”. Ah, yes, views that just happen to be nimbyist.

You like turbines? So do we! You hate pylons? So do we! Much like the Lib Dems a few years ago, the Greens can still get away with contradictory messages to different audiences.

It is perhaps worth noting that running the cables via the sea, an option that Ramsay insists should be looked at, would increase costs, according to the National Grid, from £0.8bn to £4.2bn – which is an awful lot of £200 winter fuel payments.

For all the excitement at conference, being Greens, they naturally manage to find a cloud attached to every silver lining.

Some were disgruntled to discover that the price of all their electoral success includes having bags searched on the way into the Manchester Central venue. Were the police withholding “intelligence that something is going to happen”, wondered one, proving that in Green Land, not even good news can escape its own conspiracy theory.

Outside, there was a protest going on, although on closer inspection, it wasn’t staged by opponents, but by a splinter group calling themselves “Greens in exile”. Just how cranky do you have to be to get expelled from the Greens? According to the exiles, who include a 99-year-old D-Day veteran, echoing JK Rowling on trans issues is a sure way to be chucked out.

What’s certain is that the Greens, now second-placed to Labour in 47 Westminster seats, are well-positioned to scoop up falling red fruit at the next general election if Starmer’s popularity fades. Will there still be space on the podium for two leaders if the Greens keep growing? That is a tantalising question.