I’ve been sober for 365 days – I won’t sit here and preach, but I will tell you what I’ve learned

Wine had always been my friend. I’d never been a heavy or problem drinker, but it had always been there

‘I just learned not to take the first drink every day, one day at a time’ (Georgie Bingham)

This week I celebrated a year of sobriety – 365 days of awesome alcohol-free living. It’s almost as much of a surprise to me as it is to people who know me. I have realised that alcohol was holding me back; I don’t need or like it any more.

When lockdown came last March, I moved out of London, got a dog and prepared to sit out the pandemic near my parents with a good book, zoom, Netflix and wine. Wine had always been my friend. I’d never been a heavy or problem drinker, but it had always been there.

I was, however, in a rut: I had suffered another break-up, I was mildly depressed, I was a terrible sleeper, I was still grieving the loss of my ex-boyfriend and greatest friend to suicide, I’d done more than 20 years in a toxic, misogynistic and nepotistic work environment that was really wearing me down. I was, above all this, worried that months on my own would lead to wine oblivion.

Wine was becoming a problem. For months, I had done a daily dance that went like this: wake up, fuzzy head, decide “no alcohol” today. Go to supermarket and leave without buying alcohol. Feel proud today is a no-wine day, think about wine all afternoon, cave at 5pm, buy a bottle of wine and then undo all the positive thoughts about not drinking. Never huge amounts, but steady consumption. Sleep, rinse, repeat.

It was pretty exhausting. So, I asked for help. From a sober girlfriend, from people I knew who were long-term sober or had never drunk. And I stopped. It took me seven weeks to stop properly. At first, I’d celebrate my little periods of sobriety with wine (!) and then start again. I just learned not to take the first drink every day, one day at a time.

The changes in me have been extraordinary. I took up gardening, I enjoyed getting up early to walk the dog rather than dragging myself out of my bed. I caught up with friends. I lost my short temper. I found peace and calm. My levels of patience are extraordinary. I throw no pity parties now.

When I lost my beloved radio job in the autumn, I was relieved not to have to work for that company and that management any more. After a couple of months, the feeling of wanting wine disappeared – and it hasn’t come back. Occasionally I’d like a glass of champagne when the situation arises, but if that takes me back to wine o’clock then I’ll pass.

I won’t sit here and preach on the virtues of being alcohol-free, because I don’t think it much helps others to simply boast of my wellbeing. But I will tell you what I learned. Medication doesn’t work if you drink; it does when you are sober. Sleeping, anxiety and alcohol were all interwoven for me, and I am now actually rested. I remember the first time I felt happy; I found myself laughing and wondered what was wrong with me. It had been so long since I’d felt joy.

I have loved being on my own; I’ve taken a year off dating, and it’s awesome to rely on me and not think someone else might make me whole. I am nearly two stone lighter and, although vanity shouldn’t play a part, it does; I look years younger because I am no longer poisoning my body. I have some awesome new sober friends. The way people react to your news of sobriety says more about the state of their relationship with alcohol than yours.

The line between smug boasting and sharing is caring on social media is pencil-thin, so when I posted about being sober, I was expecting a pretty stale reception. I was absolutely amazed to find the opposite. I’ve always tried to use social media for tomfoolery or good (as well as for work and profile), but the responses on Twitter and Instagram to sharing about sobriety is very touching.

It’s incredible how many thousands of people live sober lives and know the benefits; I am staggered by the number of people who DM me to ask for help because their lives are overwhelmed by alcohol. I try to reply to each and every one, and give people hope that they can also be sober and happy.

There are so many ways to find help; podcasts, books, Alcoholics Anonymous, the NHS. All anyone has to do is reach out to someone else for help instead of turning to the bottle in the fridge door. As life returns to some normality I am aware this year has tested and even broken some people. It’s also mended and reset a few.

Georgie Bingham is a radio and television presenter