Would you like a free sample? Well, only if you behave…

Food fairs bring out the worst in the general public, says artisan sauce-maker Andre Dang. Here, he reveals all the terrible people he comes across at farmers’ markets and country shows

Invariably, we get men – always men – asking to try ‘the hottest thing you have’ (Getty)

Jean-Paul Sartre famously wrote that “Hell is other people.” If you’d like to test this theory, I suggest you go to a farmers’ market or fair.

A decade ago, I set up my own food ranges, selling pickles and condiments. Tasting is key to making a sale, so we encourage it, putting out samples and inviting people to try our wares. But there’s something about a freebie that brings out the worst in people.

Smiling politely while handing out samples triggers reactions that vary from the polite and curious (“What’s in it?” “Is there a secret ingredient in it that I can taste…?” “Is it made in the UK?”), to the passive-aggressive and mildly racist: “Oh no, I don’t eat anything foreign.” Presumably by way of small talk, I’m routinely asked: “Where are you from? No, where are you really from…?”

When handed a mini-bite to try, would-be customers will randomly share snippets of their lives. I’m still baffled by the lady who declared she hadn’t had a homemade piccalilli like that since her dad died, and the man who told me he couldn’t eat pickles as they “give him the s***s”. The wonderful Stephen Fry, who stopped at my stall at a food fair, told me about his experience eating bread and butter pickles while touring America, as well as their history. He also loved ours so much, he bought several jars.

When putting out samples for people to help themselves, you have to watch them like a hawk – to prevent double-dipping, or fingers being dabbed in. Despite clear labelling, I’ve had people spit food out that they realised they were allergic to.

The most terrifying example was a man who asked if anything contained peanuts after his son shovelled down a large mouthful of satay sauce. He was surprisingly calm at my reply, simply stabbed his boy with an EpiPen and went on his way.

I’ve now stopped putting out small taster bowls at the front of our stand as they invariably get messy with spilt food, crumbs and rubbish – cocktail sticks and mini cups that people abandon when they can’t be bothered to use the bin provided.

Top marks to the man who circled our stall three times to taste the same pickle, before emptying an entire bowl into his bare cupped hand which he then tipped into his open mouth in one deft flick. I told horrified onlookers that our products were just THAT good…

Invariably, we get men – and it is always men – rocking up to ask: “What’s the hottest thing you have?” It’s just showing off for their partners’ and mates’ benefit. Many a time, they will cough and splutter after an over-generous taste of our Buffalo sauce – which isn’t even that hot, compared to the scorchers other producers make. I once watched a four-year-old boy happily devour a spoonful while his proud parents informed us he really liked his spice.

Little darlings are a constant source of entertainment. One recently decided to investigate what would happen if he pulled the pin holding up the leg of our gazebo (it didn’t end well), while another time, while talking to two couples, I looked down to see four small faces looking up at me, because they decided it would be a fine idea to climb under my table cloth and explore the empty boxes that were no longer neatly stacked underneath.

At trade shows – which aren’t supposed to be open to the public, so frankly the clientele ought to know better – I’ve had people crack open sealed jars to look inside or, worse, attempt to grab freebies.

My favourite wheeze is spotting the blaggers. There are always a few who tell you they are starting a vague retail concept, at some unknown time in the future, but who would need samples to take away with them for review right now. My inbox is full of influencers telling me about their impressive audience numbers and “reach”, and yet closer scrutiny reveals them to be not foodies but mummy-bloggers (one of my ranges is called Manfood…), or with sites that are about beauty products.

But, when everyone loves a freebie at a country show, who can blame them?

Andre Dang is co-founder of Manfood and will be exhibiting his pickles and condiments at the Summer Fine Food Market at Burghley House, Lincolnshire (burghley.co.uk/events)