I’m a former McDonald’s fry cook. Truthfully, Trump did an OK job

The former president’s 30-minute stint as an employee of the the hallowed establishment could’ve gone so much worse

Donald Trump hands over some fries while working in a McDonald’s (Getty Images)

Donald Trump’s 30-minute shift at a Pennsylvania McDonald’s was one of his most meme-worthy campaign stunts yet. The franchise in Bucks County was shut down during the visit and the former president’s labor was carefully choreographed and documented by his campaign.

But while many online were quick to remark about the former president’s breaches of health and safety protocol, such as no hair net or visible hand-washing, as a former teenage fry-cook I have to be honest: He… didn’t actually do a bad job.

In videos shared on social media, Trump is seen waiting patiently for the timer (three minutes on the dot) before lifting the baskets carefully onto the rack. This is good stewardship: If the fries are in for just 10 seconds too long, they will lose their golden fluff and turn brown and inedible, ripe to be returned by angry customers.

Trump is seen moving the fry baskets slowly and carefully using two hands, which is good technique that sticks to safety protocols (AP)

After draining excess oil from the baskets by tipping them to a 50-60 degree angle, he then moves the baskets slowly and carefully and with two hands (another tick). The former president safely returns them to their correct position, just in time to stop another beeping timer and raise another basket.

Trump then applies just the right amount of salt – one full 180-degree turn of the shaker – and gives them a good shuffle to make sure the seasoning is evenly distributed.

Even boxing up the fries, I have to admit that his first-time effort is not all that bad. The gray, plastic fry scoop, which features a large shovel at one end and is tapered at the other, is a fickle mistress. Shake too hard and the fries will spill directly back into the trough, leaving customers impatient.

The fry scoop can be a fickle mistress, the former president does well (AP)

In the video, only a single fry misses the box, bouncing off the former president’s wrist. “Untouched by human hands,” he declares proudly, and incorrectly.

Obviously, it’s not all good news. Wearing a long tie in close proximity to vats of hot oil is extremely inadvisable. But technique-wise, I don’t have many notes.

The former president also excels on the drive-thru window, providing attentive service as he smiles, waves and makes conversation with customers. At times he may run the risk of being a little too forward, saying to one man: “What a good-looking family. How did you produce such good-looking kids?” – not something I’m sure I could’ve got away with myself during my teenage years — but he’s new to customer service, after all.

The former president could be called out for other breaches of safety protocol, such as no hair net. Wearing a tie near the fry station is also inadvisable (Getty Images)

Trump has baselessly called Kamala Harris’ summer stint at a McDonald’s “a lie.” His short shift on Sunday was his way of one-upping her. “I’ve now worked 15 minutes more than Kamala,” he told reporters out of the drive-thru window.

Having worked at a local McDonald’s for six months at the age of 16 – working grueling eight-hour shifts on both Saturday and Sundays — I don’t believe Trump’s stint earns him the right to put such a hallowed establishment on his resumé. (And six months is just a flash in the grease-pan to many other loyal McDonald’s workers, of course.)

The former president will never know the McPain of a thousand tiny grease burns, or going home and taking two showers to remove the permeating smell of trans-fats from one’s skin. He will never know the camaraderie of the break room, where colorful characters such as Dubstep Dave and Mohawk Johnny (yes, real people) squabble over who gets to choose the TV channel.

Trump also excels at the drive-thru window, smiling and greeting customers in a friendly way (AP)

However, with barely two weeks to go until election day, Trump may soon find himself in need of gainful employment. With a little more training, I could certainly see how he could excel, perhaps even moving onto making Big Macs or Fish Filets – his favorite.

McDonald’s is also known to have a fairly inclusive hiring policy when it comes to ex-felons, though it’s uncertain how that applies to individuals found guilty on 34 counts. He could certainly put in an application.