Finding out about your partner’s abusive past could be life changing – it was for me

Louise Jones is one of nearly 1,600 people in Scotland who have been told about the abusive past of their partners since the introduction of the Disclosure Scheme for Domestic Abuse in Scotland (DSDAS) in 2015

Without my family’s support and Police Scotland I honestly don’t know where I would be right now (iStock)

My experience of domestic abuse was short but felt like a lifetime. When my partner broke my finger, this flagged warning signs to my parents who were concerned about my safety. They contacted the police to see if my partner had an abusive past.

This was done unbeknownst to me, and it wasn’t until I had received a call from a police officer based in Glasgow asking me to come in for a chat that I found out how concerned my parents were.

I went in and officers explained to me that they thought my partner was “High Risk”. The police don’t go into detail about previous cases, they just advise you on how likely they think it is that your partner would be abusive and whether they deem him to be a risk to the public.

I wasn’t angry at my parents for contacting the police, I just shrugged it off. I just wanted them to stay out of my business. I thought I was going to be ok and they had nothing to worry about. I would be able to change this man and it would all be perfect. No one could tell me otherwise. I was completely in love with him.

After receiving the information from the police in October that year, I stayed with my partner for just under three months – that’s when things got bad. I actually phoned the police one time when he punched me, but then I panicked and didn’t answer the door. They were persistent though, putting cards through my door, wanting to talk to me. I did eventually go, but convinced them I was ok when really I wasn’t. I know they didn’t actually believe me.

After numerous different times of abuse within the relationship, things gradually got worse and worse until I found myself in hospital having been badly beaten by my partner.

Straight away I was contacted again by the police. I will never forget them saying, “Is that you ready to talk now…?” and finally I was. The bubble had been burst and it was now time to face reality.

The support I received from Police Scotland was amazing. They held my hand through every step of the way. Emotionally and physically I was a broken woman, but I knew together we had to fight for justice. They helped me feel strong and continuously reassured me that this was the right thing. My partner was eventually prosecuted and received four years imprisonment.

Without my family’s support and Police Scotland I honestly don’t know where I would be right now. The night I ended up in hospital I was genuinely scared for my life. Things really could have taken a different turn.

Domestic abuse can break your world: it turned me into a shell of woman. Once the abuser clings on to you you’re stuck and you are putting your life at risk. The Disclosure Scheme for Domestic Abuse Scotland (DSDAS) service can help you get away before it’s too late. People should use it to protect themselves and their families.

I was lucky. Police Scotland helped me get away and I was able to restart my life again. Unfortunately, some women can’t.

I would tell anyone if they are unsure or have an inkling that their partner might have an abusive past, to check and listen to what the police say. Ask for help, it’s out there and there is always a way out.

Louise Jones is a pseudonym