The Third Leader: Sport relief

Today I should like to alert you in the most urgent terms to an unparalleled challenge facing us all in Britain - politicians, media, and citizens alike. It is a challenge which is ever-increasing, all-pervasive and threatens to affect our well-being, enjoyment and very stability; a challenge that we must find ways of confronting and overcoming.

Others may prevaricate, circumlocute and beat around the bush; not I. Let me, without further ado, get straight to the point: how, in the name of Baron de Coubertin, are we going to survive the next six years?

Six years of billions and budgets and building and ballparks and backs of envelopes and not a spade in the ground yet and don't forget the regeneration and how much did Athens go over and how are the Chinese getting on and resignations and regrets and realities and pledges and pride and the price of steel and VAT and worth it for the greatest sporting event in the world and where are our winners coming from and, again and again, louder and louder, will it be ready in time, will it be ready in time...

You look to me for answers. There has not been much enthusiasm in official circles, I'm afraid, for my suggestion that a contingency date of 2013 might take out a lot of the heat. Nor in media circles for my plan to mention them only on the 12th of each month.

What I can pledge, though, is that, from now on until 2013, this space at least will be an Official Olympics-Free Zone. Unless unforeseen circumstances radically alter things, of course. Now then, Christmas.