The Third Leader: Brain drain

Oh, dear. Another debate about the C word. Simon Smith, a teacher from Essex, says that schoolchildren think "it's not cool to be clever", and suggests that his colleagues should employ "successful" instead. He's right, of course. It hasn't been cool to be clever in this country certainly since Henry dissolved the monasteries, and for quite a bit before that, too. I suspect it started when some Norman sniggered at some Saxon's French.

"Too clever by half", "clever to a fault", Mr Toad's "clever men at Oxford": on it goes. No wonder Shakespeare had to throw in the bad jokes and change his name. Others have cultivated a camouflaging eccentricity of the flailing arm kind to allow us some superiority.

So I doubt that Mr Smith's suggestion will be, well, successful. Swotting, however it is described, is a challenging activity that brings none of the protective power, influence and money which rewards later strivings. And if you have classmates who get fantastic marks without any effort, a fortiori, whatever that means.

You might also care to contemplate this list of pupils who did not achieve "success" at school: St Augustine, Newton, Swift, Napoleon, Beethoven, Keats, Turner, Darwin, Edison, Churchill, and Einstein. John Lennon: "Hopeless... certainly on the road to failure". Robert Graves: "Goodbye Graves, and remember that your best friend is the wastepaper basket".

Again, I once conducted a survey of the subsequent careers of head boys and girls: not impressive. And now, if, like me, you have teenaged children about, I suggest you follow my example and eat this immediately.