The Sketch: Then Brown's knees started working – in the manner of a trapped animal
Your support helps us to tell the story
From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.
At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.
The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.
Your support makes all the difference.What a rich, thick, full-fat question time. I can't get the quart into my poor pint pot. Tony Blair came in and sat next to Gordon Brown and tried to swap pleasantries. When Gordon refused to play and turned away, a micro-expression flashed across the Prime Minister's face, which allowed you to believe everything you'd heard about their relationship.
I used to do exactly that look ("What? What! Are you mad! I never said that! It's you! That's what you're saying, not me!") when my first marriage was going the wrong way. The crockery will be flying in Downing Street tonight.
Mr Thing was slightly better than usual, but no different from when he is slightly worse than usual. He did, however, home in on exactly the right issue – the Guardian breakfast, at which the Chancellor was reported to have called top-up fees "a ridiculous idea".
Did the Prime Minister agree with the Chancellor's assessment? The Chancellor's knees started working. Thump thump thump. One knee then the other. The meaty hands folding and refolding, the jaw lifted, then the chin plunged into the chest, they were all the mannerisms of a trapped animal (I used to do those too). There's only one thing to cheer these men up: a vicious, debilitating divorce.
Charles Kennedy made the debating point most convincingly. It was clear what Mr Blair thought, Mr Kennedy said, because when he had the opportunity to rule out top-up fees he did not do so.
Andrew Murrison said that since the first Public Health minister had been appointed, all sorts of diseases, including TB and HIV, had increased and the health gap between the rich and the poor had widened. Why are you laughing? I know, I was too.
Philip Hammond then did the same trick with the drug tsar. Things were so bad there that the drug targets had simply been abandoned.
The Speaker called a succession of old Labour trouble-makers who made a terrific amount of trouble.
Peter Kilfoyle asked, in full voice, the question that many of us have asked in saloon bars. He wanted to know whether the Prime Minister accepted the security services verdict that whatever Saddam Hussein might be guilty of he was almost certainly innocent of supporting al-Q'aida.
Mr Blair said there was a link in that there was a link between weapons of mass destruction and terrorism, and if there wasn't a link now they could very likely be linked in the future.
Tam Dalyell, the Grandfather of the House, is a bit of a rhino and more often than not pointing his horn in the wrong direction. Yesterday, he went straight and over the Prime Minister. He noted that the Blair dossier on Saddam's terror regime included the charge that the Iraqi football team were caned on the soles of their feet for losing a World Cup qualifier match.
Fifa had investigated this claim, Mr Dalyell said, and shown it to be absolutely baseless. "Does the Prime Minister say he knows more than Fifa about this footballing matter?" No, er, no the Prime Minister wouldn't say that.
Mr Blair paused helplessly, Then came up with this Parliament's first great catchphrase: "Leave that aside for a moment," he said. Leave that aside for the moment!
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies
Comments