Alison Taylor on relationships: You’ve been exchanging messages with somebody online for a month. Where do you go on a first date?

Well done! You've secured actual, human-to-human contact. Some relationships stay in cyberspace for months, with only repetitive strain injury and extreme anxiety to show for it. The first thing now is to make sure your date is firm, and not just a mirage on the virtual horizon.

I got into a drawn-out texting relationship some time ago and the date just never materialised. Such is the virtual life. The best excuse I got was that the ceiling had collapsed at his "dear old uncle's house". I don't know what confused me more, the likelihood of a ceiling collapse or that he was quoting a Chas & Dave lyric.

So, how to play it when you first meet? Let's start with a don't. Do not go for "a coffee". This isn't Friends. The coffee date derives from the US culture of multiple dating and fitting somebody in for a quick, non-committal meeting. Meeting is the key word here – coffee feels like a business link-up. Nobody likes those. And you'll be jacked-up on caffeine. Another no-no is the breakfast date. I once went on one. I think the guy was trying to get a leg-up in his career, rather than his leg over.

The key ingredient that's missing from both breakfast and coffee dates is alcohol. I'm going to go out on a limb here and insist that you go somewhere that serves booze. You can't ignore centuries of British culture and the principle that in order to get off with somebody you really have to be a little bit drunk.

To this end, a good pub in the late afternoon/early evening is the best option for a first date. A pub that you know sells half-decent drinks, and is likely to have a seat – or even better a booth/nook/hideaway – where you can huddle up, have a chat and hopefully make some bodily contact as the evening progresses. Ta-dah! µ

@lovefoolforever