Miles Kington: Ten lists of things you always wanted to know
Monday 30 May 2005 00:00 BST
CommentsTen doctors who have given doctoring a bad name
Ten doctors who have given doctoring a bad name
- Dr No
- Dr Crippen
- Dr Harold Shipman
- Dr David Owen
- Doc Holliday
- Dr Death
- Dr Sin
- Dr Jekyll
- Dr Faustus
- Doctor Foster
Ten things we shall do
- We shall overcome
- We'll go no more a-roving
- We'll keep a welcome in the hillsides
- We who are left will grow old
- We'll meet again
- We shall not be moved
- We'll gather lilacs
- We will rock you
- We will see about that
- We're going to hang out the washing on the Siegfried Line
Ten great parts for actors to play if they don't want to be recognised in the street.
- The Mummy
- The Invisible Man
- The Man In The Iron Mask
- Phantom of the Opera
- Zorro
- The Masked Avenger
- Godot
- Frankenstein's Monster
- The Beast
- Widow Twankey
Ten famous excrescences
- Cromwell's warts
- Cleopatra's nose
- Richard III's hunchback
- Jenkins' ear
- Claire's Knee
- Blackberry thumb
- Pinocchio's nose
- Michael Finnegan's chin
- The Great Wen
- The Dong with the Luminous Nose
Ten people whose names are just one syllable repeated
- Tin Tin
- Lala
- Lulu
- Peter Lilley
- Ratan Tata
- Luigi Nono
- Kofi Annan
- Viv Beeby
- Lord Ha Ha
- Coco Chanel
Ten contestants for the title of stupidist bird in the world
- Pheasant
- Pheasant
- Pheasant
- Pheasant
- Pheasant
- Pheasant
- Pheasant
- Ostrich
- Pheasant
- Pheasant
Ten fictional houses
- The House at Pooh Corner
- The House That Jack Built
- The House of Usher
- Bleak House
- Cider House
- Our House
- The House of Bernarda Alba
- Heartbreak House
- A Doll's House
- Random House
Ten things that are often sheer
- Bad luck
- Bloody-mindedness
- Brute force
- Stupidity
- Madness
- Drop
- Tights
- Luxury
- Incompetence
- -Ness
Ten words that have become taboo and can no longer be used
- M*d
- R*****d
- S****ic
- F*t
- C*****e
- D***f
- M*****t
- N****r
- Y*d
- L***y
Ten ways of ending a phone call
- "Someone's on the other line"
- "A customer has just come in"
- "You're breaking up"
- "Hello? Are you still there?"
- "I can smell burning"
- "Oh no - water has started coming through the ceiling!"
- "The house is surrounded by Liverpool supporters"
- "Someone's pointing a gun at me"
- "The police have ordered us to evacuate the area"
- "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have just arrived, and they seem unhappy about something."
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