Miles Kington Remembered: Why do you never see unruly children on a roof rack?
14 July
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Your support makes all the difference.Ten measures of pain most commonly used by the English, in ascending order, after the phrase: "It hurts like..."
1 Anything
2 Mad
3 Blazes
4 Stink
5 The Dickens
6 Hell
7 Fury
8 The Devil
9 Merry Hell
10 Buggery
Ten things commonly seen on people's roof-racks
1 Surfboards
2 Bicycles
3 Luggage wrapped in flapping polythene
4 Second-hand armchairs
5 Skis
6 Double bass
7 Beds
8 Canoes
9 Golf clubs
10 Rolls of carpet
Ten things not seen often enough on people's roof-racks
1 Statues
2 Grandfather clocks
3 Coffins
4 Pianos
5 Coca-Cola vending machines
6 Horse saddles
7 Horses
8 Skeletons
9 Weather vanes
10 Unruly children
Ten things that we hold on to because they might be useful one day (but in fact they never turn out to be)
1 An airline face wipe
2 Unused foreign stamps, bought on holiday for postcards that never got sent
3 A phone number on a bit of paper, with no name attached
4 An unidentified key
5 A single piece of a jigsaw puzzle
6 One left-over firework
7 Wine corks
8 A slightly dented ping-pong ball
9 51 matching playing-cards
10 A child's pushchair
Ten clichés that all Australians must feel oppressed by
1 Hats with dangling corks
2 Ice-cold lager
3 Convict forebears
4 Surfing
5 Sharks
6 The name Barry
7 Barbies
8 "Waltzing Matilda"
9 Billabongs
10 Rolf Harris
Ten saints who we doubt ever really existed
1 St John Stevas
2 St Vitus
3 Santa Monica
4 St Evias
5 St Johnstone
6 Santa Barbara
7 St Raphael
8 St Vedast
9 St Weonard
10 St Neot
Ten things that CD stands for, apart from "compact disc"
1 Camp David
2 Charles Darwin
3 Christmas Day
4 County Down
5 Castle Donington
6 Constructive dismissal
7 Conan Doyle
8 Cheese dip
9 Chicken dinner
10 Canada Dry
Ten books that became bestsellers despite, not because of, their titles
1 Das Kapital
2 Jonathan Livingston Seagull
3 On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection
4 The Bible
5 Apologia pro vita sua
6 A la recherche du temps perdu
7 Wuthering Heights
8 Eothen
9 Trainspotting
10 Pnin
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