Miles Kington remembered: A decimal guide to life's oddities and absurdities
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Your support makes all the difference.Ten writers who sounded as if they were men but turned out to be women...
Richmal Crompton
George Eliot
Radclyffe Hall
A S Byatt
George Sand
Frances Parkinson Keyes
Jean Plaidy
P D James
Evelyn's Diary
Aubrey's Brief Lives
(NB. The management would like to apologise for the last two, who are apparently men with girls' names ...)
Ten things commonly found down the back of sofas...
Cocktail sticks
An unfinished paperback that you will have to start again now, because you can't remember a thing that happened in it
Pencils
Christmas cards
Invitations to parties that happened last week
Dinosaurs (small scale)
Small change, often no longer legal tender or simply foreign
Pieces of sticking plaster that have fallen off presumably now unprotected wounds
More dinosaurs
Pieces of sticking plaster used to join broken dinosaurs together, still with brachiosaurus leg attached
Ten things which children can put individual names to quicker than adults can...
Dinosaurs
Cars
Lorries
Trains
Pop stars
Insects
Tractor manufactures
Obscure cartoon characters of the 40s
Unpleasant, possibly poisonous items of food not to be eaten at any cost
Jungle animals
Pirates
Ten unusual ways of being out at cricket...
Stolen ball
Head before wicket
Nervous breakdown
Retired, drunk
Doubtful nationality
Ball repossessed by bank
Caught, umpire
Ball split in two halves, one of which hit stumps, other being caught in the slips
Appeal granted by accident
Walked out
Ten terms used in advertising that do not promote trust...
Rain-proof
Farm fresh
Personalised
Shower-proof
Unique
Pedigree
Environment-friendly
Shower-resistant
Simply the best
Excellent
Ten things which fall apart much faster than the law of probability allows for...
Pencils with little erasers stuck on the end
Telephone answering machines
Paperbacks
Sandwiches carried in a paper bag
Dinosaurs
Name-and-address books
Boxes containing garden games for the summer
Matchboxes carried in the pocket
Cameras
Houses
Ten books named not after people but after houses, or even parts of houses...
Jamaica Inn
Bleak House
The Mysterious Affair At Styles
10 Rillington Place
Northanger Abbey
Brideshead Revisited
The L-Shaped Room
A Room With A View
Howard's End
The House at Pooh Corner
Ten books that have never been turned into musicals...
Lord Baden-Powell's Scouting For Boys
Robinson Crusoe
Burke's Landed Gentry
Mrs Beeton's Household
Management
The Book of Genesis
Wisden
Proust's A la Recherche du Temps Perdu
Birds of the West Indies by James Bond
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
Brideshead Revisited
Ten composers who sound as if they were really small railway stations somewhere in the north of England...
Sterndale Bennett
Rawsthorne
Swinstead
Percy Grainger
Stanford
Birtwhistle
Hamilton Harty
Arnold
Hely-Hutchinson
Granville Bantock
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