Meteorologists have so much to teach Tony

'After rubbishing the ideas of his opponents, why is Ken offering them all posts in his administration?'

How well do you understand the news? When you hear a news story, do you understand what's going on? I mean, really going on? The news behind the news?

Well, here's a chance to find out. Here are 10 recent news stories, and a simple question after each one. All you have to do is read the question, shrug your shoulders and say, "OK, that doesn't make sense, but maybe the next question will."

1. Tony Blair is often accused of being a control freak. As examples of his control freakery, we are given the way he has engineered Frank Dobson to be mayor of London and Alun Michael to be the Welsh Assembly supremo.

Does the disappearance of Dobson and Michael mean that Tony Blair is not a control freak at all? Or just not a very good one?

2. Robert Mugabe, it is generally agreed, has become corrupt, greedy, dictatorial, cruel and a tyrant. What the international community has to do is find a solution. The main one suggested so far is that the president of South Africa should have a word in his ear and put him straight.

What could the president of South Africa - or indeed any living person - say in Robert Mugabe's ear that would make him say: "Oh, my goodness - you're right! I have become a corrupt, power-seeking tyrant! And I had never realised it! Thanks for letting me know! I will do the decent thing and hand back all the stolen property I have dished out to my buddies, and then clear off!"

3. Yesterday the Queen officially opened the new footbridge across the Thames. The footbridge, however, is not yet finished, and nobody can go on it, including the Queen.

In what sense was the Queen "opening" the bridge?

4. The UN peace-keeping force in Sierra Leone is having a terrible time.

In what sense is the UN peace-keeping mission keeping peace? More to the point, why are peace-keeping missions always sent to places where there is no peace to be kept?

5. It is generally agreed that there are too many cars on the road and that there should be fewer cars on the road.

In that case, why is it greeted as a tragedy when a place that makes cars, such as Rover, is threatened with closure? Shouldn't we be celebrating?

6. The gun lobby in the USA always opposes gun control on the grounds that it isn't guns that kill people, it's people that kill people.

So why doesn't the gun lobby ever come up with some ideas for strict people control?

7. We are often told that London is the most sophisticated and cultured city in the world.

So how come it elected a joker for its mayor? Or, hold on, was it a sophisticated London joke all along? Was this actually the first ironic election in world history?

8. Yesterday the weather in Wiltshire was grey and sullen all day long, even though the weather forecast had unequivocally forecast a long hot, sunny day. No surprise, really: the forecast often gets it quite wrong.

Why is there no provision in weather reports for admitting failure and explaining why what was forecast was so very different from what actually happened? Why is meteorology all forecasting and no post-morteming, rather like the horse-tipping service on Radio 4's 'Today'?

9. Today on Radio 4 is supposedly staffed by some of the most incisive and thoughtful interviewers in the business.

So why do they ask the listeners to provide questions? Why do they say, "We've got Alan Milburn coming into the studio in three quarters of an hour at 8.30, so if you've got any questions for him please send us an e-mail."?

10. Ken Livingstone has spent the last month or more rubbishing the ideas of his opponents in the mayoral race.

Why is he now offering them all posts in his administration?