A depressing journey into the land of lists

The most offensive thing is the assertion that these are all places we must see before we die

Not content with exposing the nation's myopia with its poll to find the greatest Briton of all time – respondents to which seem unable to see beyond Diana, Princess of Wales – the BBC has now exposed the opposing deficiency: the 50 greatest places to see before you die, as voted for by 20,000 viewers of BBC1's Holiday, contains not a single destination within the British Isles.

The list, given a sneak preview in Friday's Independent, was formally unveiled on yesterday's special edition of the programme. It was manifestly a Mickey Mouse exercise in more ways than one: Walt Disney World in Florida was ranked at number three, well ahead of the Taj Mahal, which only just crept into the top 10, maybe because those polled reckoned the Taj Mahal was no more desirable a destination than, say, the Punjab Paradise, or any other half-decent curry house.

Naturally, I don't think that viewers of the Holiday programme really believe that the Taj Mahal is an Indian restaurant, but on the other hand, they are not entitled to much respect, having placed Disney World third on the planet's must-see list, ahead of the Pyramids, and Venice, and the Great Wall of China.

The thought occurs: have they been to Disney World? Have they stood in line for 55 minutes in the baking Florida sun behind an XXL family from Milwaukee, waiting to take their places on the "It's a Small, Small World" ride? I have, and I can honestly claim that for most of those 55 minutes Disney World seemed no more worth a pilgrimage than Milton Keynes. That said, I have also seen the Grand Canyon, which is very much worth a pilgrimage, and deservedly top of the list. But a pox on the suitcase of the BBC spokeswoman who said, "This is the ultimate travel wish list". It's not mine.

Of course, it could be that I am ignorant of certain criteria. Perhaps respondents were asked to look beyond Britain. That can be the only explanation for a list with no ranking at all for Stonehenge, or the Highlands of Scotland, or even London. New York is there, at number nine, and Paris, at 27, and Rome, at 35, but London is conspicuously absent, even though Westminster Bridge at sunset, looking towards the Houses of Parliament, is one of the world's great sights in any language.

Or it could be that London was overlooked because, among the British, it's considered just too easy to see before you die, that is unless you're travelling towards it by train on the Virgin West Coast Line, in which case it can sometimes feel like touch and go whether you'll make it to Euston before your vital organs start succumbing to old age.

But if not London, then why not Edinburgh? Not even Paris has a sight as awe-inspiring as Edinburgh Castle, at dusk, from the Princes Street Gardens, although what Paris does have should surely propel it higher up the list than Las Vegas, which is bewilderingly lofty, in seventh spot. It's all depressingly reminiscent of the 100 Greatest Britons list, in which Boy George was ranked higher than Florence Nightingale, with Wordsworth and Constable and Milton excluded altogether.

And that list was like the list before that, which had ET rated as a greater film than Modern Times. Some people call it dumbing down. You could also say that what we're doing, culturally, is listing, dangerously.

And I haven't even come to the most offensive thing about the Holiday list, the presumptuous assertion that these are places which we must all see before we die. First, if I'm to be reminded of my own mortality on the BBC, then at least let it be by Professor Lord Robert "Groucho" Winston. Secondly, it is plainly irresponsible of television producers, in the search for cheap publicity, to suggest that if you are shuffling towards the end of your mortal coil without having quite got round to visiting 48 of Holiday's 50 must-see destinations, then yours has been a less-than-fulfilled life. After all, there are people who take these lists seriously.

In the end, lists such as this have absolutely no value unless they are compiled by you, the individual. Only you can decide what 50, or 25, or 10 destinations to see before you eventually die, or even before you don't die.

My own top 10, for what it's worth – which means a lot to me and nothing whatever to you – are Chile, the Melbourne Cricket Ground during an Ashes Test match, Biarritz, the Arctic Circle during the Northern Lights, Lincoln Cathedral, Pine Valley Golf Club near Philadelphia, Seattle, Marrakesh, the Scilly Isles, and the Stagg at Titley, fondly known as the Tit at Stagley, a pub about which everyone speaks highly near where I live in Herefordshire and which I am determined to visit. Bangkok or Iceland, on the other hand, 42nd and 44th respectively on the "ultimate wish list", I can take or leave.

b.viner@independent.co.uk