The solution to Christmas stress is watching Meatloaf being offed in ‘Rocky Horror’

Poet and artist Frieda Hughes gets caught up in the exhaustion that inevitably accompanies the festive period

From food shopping to preparing Christmas dinner – it’s not all tidings of joy (Frieda Hughes)

IT MUST BE CHRISTMAS

Food for three months must be bought on the 23 December

As if the shops will never open again.

Those with foresight and planning have ordered online

Only to find their deliveries short of everything but parsnips.

A woman in a white car is suffering road rage

In a country town square as her temper shreds like suet

And the rest of us skirt her dark mutterings.

Preparation stress seeps from the bones of passers-by,

And the man who asks me if I’m ready for Christmas

Gets a “yes” as he can’t see the unwrapped gifts at home

And the carrots, swedes, red cabbage, Brussels sprouts,

Potatoes, parsnips, peas and stuffing that need peeling,

Chopping and preparing. Too many vegetables

To accompany two kinds of meat as my legs stiffen with standing

And the floor works its way through the soles of my feet.

I watch The Rocky Horror Show as I whip cream for tiramisu

And beat eggs for folding, while Meatloaf is hacked to death

In a freezer big enough for his motorbike,

To the sound of music and screaming.

By 4am on Christmas Day I’m ready for the roast turkey countdown.