Sorry, I won't be watching Children In Need – I don't get off on pity porn

I get that the money raised by the BBC’s annual orgy of self-congratulation is often put to worthwhile use by projects from which kids derive real benefits. But there is a dark side to all the jollity

Every year, celebrities come out and do their bit so people can dig into their pockets, donate a quid then forget about disabled children for the next 12 months

Have you got your Children In Need fundraising pack? If not why not, you rotten, miserable, mean old Grinch? People like you are worse than Hitler.

Haven’t you watched the videos with the sweet piano music featuring those disabled kids with their gorgeous smiles that we're out there doing our bit to try and help?

How could you not be touched by that? How?

Doesn’t your heart melt as the BBC stars go all doe-eyed and nearly break into tears as they tell the stories of all the wonderful work that’s being done through their generously donated time, and the money it persuades ordinary people to part with?

You must be a Class A psychopath if you're not moved.

Or is what you’re saying that you just don’t get off on pity porn?

If it’s the latter, come on in and join the club because I’m with you. And we’re far from alone.

Look, I get that the money raised by the BBC’s annual orgy of self-congratulation is often put to worthwhile use by projects from which kids derive real benefits.

But there is a dark side to all the jollity.

It starts with the exploitation of the beneficiaries that the BBC indulges in to get people to part with their cash.

The turning of them into objects to be pitied so donors can feel good about themselves. They become Tiny Tims or Tammys, and if you refuse to take part in the forced fun, or to dig deep into your pockets, you’re the Ebenezer Scrooge, the party-pooping pantomime villain. Boo, hiss! Get you to the Twitter stocks so we can the chuck verbal bricks at you.

There is also the issue of Children In Need encouraging the attitude that after putting cash in the bucket so little Tim can get a new pair of legs and star in next year’s heartbreaker, people have done their bit for the year.

Now then, who wants to buy me a pint for being such a great bloke? No need to put any cash in the pub’s charity box. I’ve given for the year!

I wonder how many of the people who trolled @MumOnAMission this week felt that way. She’s a blogger and fundraiser who has been campaigning to get big retailers to upgrade their toilets to include hoists and changing tables so the quarter of a million people that need them to relieve themselves can do so.

She noted that John Lewis spent £7m on its Christmas ad, and shared a picture of her son lying on a toilet floor at one of its branches with the text "#priorities". The response was swift, and ugly. How dare she ask shops to invest some of their profits in decency?

Reading the comments she got from other tweeters – some of them were truly vile – was enough to shake my faith in human nature.

Disabled kids are the focus of this year’s event, but it’s not the charity of Children in Need that they really need. What they really need is a world that empowers them to live as normal a life as possible, that gets them an education and a job at the end of it if that’s possible.

They also need to be able to do the things most people take for granted, like using trains or buses or tubes. Like getting into shops or cafes, and yes, like simply being able to go to the loo when they’re out and about.

There are organisations up and down the country that will make a big deal about how much they’re doing to support Children In Need this year, while shirking their responsibilities to facilitate that. You can find them both in the public and the private sectors.

The BBC’s annual jamboree provides a way for these people and organisations – ministers, big businesses, local authorities, transport authorities – to get themselves off the hook.

You can call me the Grinch if you like, but to me that stinks.

It’s interesting to note that the telethon phenomenon, of which Children In Need is one of the oldest parts in Britain, has largely died out in the US and nobody misses it much.

This is one issue on which we should follow the example of our transatlantic cousins. It’s time for the BBC to rethink Children In Need. It might do some good things, but the format is increasingly dated and I fear that they are now outweighed by the harm it can do to society.