CAPTAIN MOONLIGHT:The Captain's catch-up Service

Charles Nevin
Sunday 29 January 1995 00:02 GMT
Comments

Your support helps us to tell the story

From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.

At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.

The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.

Your support makes all the difference.

WELCOME to the Captain's weekly gambol around what passes for news on this planet ... Supermarket staff in Hove laughed when a man tried to stage a hold-up with a Jif lemon. "Hand over the money or I'll squeeze," he said before fleeing ... "Sophia has six different mops - and all of them do different things," a friend of Sophia Loren's has confided ... Australians are being asked to post squashed fleas from their pets to a pharmaceutical company, which will give 50p an insect to the Animal Protection S ocietyfor a flea awareness week ... A machine invented in Manchester to detect truffles was pitted against Pascale the pig near Cahors. Pascale won by 3-2 ... Britain's most wanted grannies, Joan Payne, 74, and Winifred Bristow, 76, inveterate dodgers ofho tel and garage bills, resurfaced in Kent ... A holidaymaker told Granada's This Morning programme how she had spent an entire flight trapped to the loo by suction after she flushed it before standing up ... William Aldridge, 51, was given a one-year conditio nal discharge after admitting throwing his woolly hat at police during demonstrations against calf shipment in Shoreham ... Prisoners in Sao Paulo held three guards hostage until the governor agreed to dress up in a pink tutu ... The Polish Bald

People's Par ty has launched a campaign to guarantee bald people top state posts ... And, finally, Graham Gregory, 42, a building equipment supplier from Stowmarket, claimed he lost his litigation over an accountancy dispute because the loud snoring of the judge's dog distracted him from conducting his own defence. Judge Nicholas Brandt said Barty was guilty of nothing more than heavy breathing. The case was adjourned until next month.

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in