Captain Moonlight: Return to lender

CONNOISSEURS of letters to newspapers signed by resonant collections of the great and the good will have noted a real corker last week. It demanded that the Elgin marbles should be returned home forthwith as a tribute to Melina Mercouri and was signed by 29 British actresses, including such relishable billtoppers of compassion as Francesca Annis, Frances de la Tour, Dame Judi, Julie Christie and, naturally, Emma Thompson. The Captain, I can reveal, has not been idle in this area. I am trying to persuade the Egyptians to ask again for the return of notable artefacts, including the Rosetta Stone and the beard of the Sphinx. The charming Aya Kamel, cultural attache at the Egyptian Embassy, has undertaken to get the view of the Antiquities Authority in Cairo. Unfortunately, the Authority was closed for the al-Fitr holiday, but I should know by the week after next, or the week after that. Any other country that wants anything back, just get in touch.

(Photographs omitted)