'My French husband has no respect for my parents any more': the families torn apart by Brexit

"I am at a complete loss. This has thoroughly shaken me, my understanding of my family and the country I grew up in,” wrote one contributor to Facebook group The 48%

If there had been another referendum with the 1.1 million voters who now regret their choice, Britain might have remained in the EU

At my child’s school fete on Saturday, I spoke to someone who wants to move back to Italy with his Italian wife and their two children because he is no longer speaking to his parents – his parents voted “Leave”. Later, I had a heated exchange on Facebook with an old school acquaintance, who suggested I do my #research and understand my #facts. We debated issues rather than mud-slinging but it wasn’t a friendly debate and it soon became clear were never, ever going to see eye to eye. It seems unlikely that we’ll be posting comments on pictures of our children in the future.

Elsewhere, I know someone who was at the heart of the Leave campaign but his wife is a journalist for a left-leaning national publication who – at least judging by her tweets after the result - was shocked and appalled by the result. I think it would be reasonable to assume it would have put some strain on their relationship. (He didn’t think his side would win, by the way).

If you’ve come across the Facebook group “The 48%” you’ll have seen the many examples of the cost of Brexit on personal relationships. I give you a few extracts, including the first from a woman who posted a powerful but devastating letter she wrote to her parents “through tears”:

“My character and opinions were formed by you. You gave me difficult and challenging books as a child.... These and others had a huge impact on how I understood the world, I grew up against extremism - right wing, left wing and religious. … You taught me to live in the wider world, to really see and value other cultures. … I cannot understand how you could have voted for Britain to leave the EU. I am at a complete loss. This has thoroughly shaken me, my understanding of my family and the country I grew up in.”

“My parents voted out despite the fact that I am married to a French man and we have two children together … Completely shameful - my husband has no respect for my parents anymore and I'm not entirely sure I can ever forgive them.”

“Sadly, too many people I've called friends have shown me their true colours since the referendum. I'm in shock, in anger and slowly becoming in fear of what's going to happen next.”

“My parents who voted leave are coming for Sunday lunch later … my hubby is openly furious and I'm dreading it being mentioned.”

My husband and I, and my parents, have, thankfully, been like-minded on this. If my husband had contributed to the future I feel has now been forced upon me and our part-Italian children, could I speak to him again? I think it would have caused a rift between us. I have now come to see people I have known for years in a different light. Can I continue to be friends with them? Can I spend time with them again? Knowing they have given me and my children a future I did not want? Maybe – but it might take time.

How do these wounds heal? If we had voted Remain we would, in large part, have gone back to normal – as people keep suggesting we should do now. However, going back to normal was never going to possible with the vote going this way. Extracting ourselves from the EU will go on for years, so people will be reminded for years of the way their friends and family voted.

For the sake of our friends and families so deeply divided, I hope we have a snap election. It gives the public another chance to vote – a vote so many want – to at least democratically choose the person who can best steer us through this mess. If we elect the right person, hopefully, by skilfully tackling the many seemingly unsolvable problems that have been created, it can lessen the feeling some have that their friends and family have betrayed them. I hope.