Boris Johnson has found a way to reassure the nation over coronavirus – by not turning up

It’s never been the time for a joker, and definitely not now

It was, in its way, a sensible strategy for a royal court that accidentally put its jester on the throne.

Covid-19 infection rates are soaring. The public needs to understand that this is serious. And how better to make it clear just how serious it is than for Boris Johnson to not be there?

The message outlined by the chief medical officer and the chief scientific adviser, Professor Chris Whitty and Sir Patrick Vallance, was clear. We have turned a corner. There are difficult days ahead. We must take action now.

That message has always been the case. In halting the spread of an infectious disease, the best time to take action is always “right now”, a reality which, back in February, the government’s “behavioural science unit” imagined itself to be too clever for, and for which we have all paid a very high price indeed.

It’s never been the time for a joker, and definitely not now. In the early days of the pandemic, who can now forget Boris Johnson bragging about shaking hands with coronavirus patients then turning toward Sir Patrick Vallance for confirmation that this was definitely fine, wasn’t it? To view the footage again, it may in fact be possible to see Sir Patrick’s heart visibly sinking inside his chest, as he sighs, contorts his face in desperate resignation, and mutters only to “wash your hands”.      

This time, the scientists had one thing they wanted to make clear. Everyone must be responsible. Everyone must do their bit. We are all in this together. It’s not up to you, the amount of risk you’re prepared to take.

“If I as an individual increase my risk, you are taking a risk on behalf of everybody else,” said Professor Whitty.

Perhaps – who knows? – when they had the script meeting for all this, someone pointed out that, well, you can’t really have Boris Johnson coming out with that, because his chief of staff drove a car full of coronavirus to Durham then lied about it on live TV, which the entire cabinet was compelled to humiliate themselves to defend, and still comes into 10 Downing Street deliberately getting photographed holding papers about ballistic missile defence.

We are led to believe this was the “rolling of the pitch” for stricter measures that could well be announced by the prime minister tomorrow. In the meantime, let the scientists explain how bad it is. If you send them in on their own then you can legitimately not have them answer any questions. They’re not politicians after all. It wouldn’t be fair.

Maybe – who knows? – the public might decide to blame them for all this. Matt Hancock has spent the last week trying to convince the public to blame themselves but that’s not really worked, so perhaps it’s Whitty and Vallance’s turn.

Still, it was, in its way, the absentee prime minister at his most prime ministerial. How better for Boris Johnson to calm the nerves of the people at this critical hour than to say: “Look, see. I’m not even here. I don’t do anything at all.”?

And best of all, perhaps for the first time in his life, it’s actually true.