Count Binface vows to rename London Bridge after Phoebe Waller-Bridge if elected mayor

Count Binface has vowed to rename London Bridge after Phoebe Waller-Bridge if he wins May’s mayoral election.

His other flagship policies for the capital include price-capping croissants at £1.10 and granting grade-one listed status to Claudia Winkleman’s fringe.

The self-described intergalactic space warrior running in London’s election, who says he is 5,072 years old in Earth years, has also pledged to make Thames Water bosses “take a dip” in the river.

The Count, who previously ran to be mayor in 2021, has hinted that he may stand in Rishi Sunak’s seat in North Yorkshire in the general election.