Simon Calder: The man who pays his way

Same jet, new paint job

Changing a travel brand is an even riskier business than trying to change trains on a Sunday on Britain's railways. Yet the travel industry spends fortunes on ditching well-known and respected brands in favour of made-up names. Three years ago, Thomas Cook decided to erase some of its most valuable assets from its tour operations: the name Thomas Cook, and the well-regarded marque Sunworld. The company spent £200m trying to persuade the public that a new brand, JMC, was bigger and better.

The investment was necessary, we were told, because the new entity would transform the package holiday. The initials of Thomas's son, John Mason Cook, were imposed on the tour operations. JMC has proved such a success that it is about to be deleted, at considerable expense, in favour of... Thomas Cook.

Since the patron of package holidays organised his first excursion from Leicester to Loughborough in 1841, his company has been through more owners than a clapped-out VW Beetle. The current German proprietor, Condor und Neckerman, appreciates the name so much that it has adopted Thomas Cook for the entire company. Were the unfortunate Charlotte Davies, who was jailed yesterday for being drunk aboard a JMC aircraft, ever to try again, she may find the plane repainted in the new Thomas Cook colours: blue and yellow are the new red and white.

This week, the Prussian Mining, Iron and Steel Company voted itself out of existence, or at least changed its name. This is relevant to anyone who uses Lunn Poly travel agencies, buys Thomson holidays or flies on Britannia Airways – all are owned by this German conglomerate, making it the biggest provider of travel for British holidaymakers. On Thursday, it became TUI – the acronym for Touristik Union International. A bit catchier, but it's not Thomas Cook. Britannia's planes are being resprayed to carry the TUI logo, which is supposed to resemble a smile and a wink – the sort of expression you see a lot these days on the faces of vendors of aircraft paint.

Airtours International has carried millions of happy holidaymakers. But loyal passengers who turn up at the airport today may find that their aircraft is named MyTravel – the new corporate entity. (Names such as "IsThatReallyMyPlane?" and "I'm-not-getting-on-that-thing" were ruled out by the brand consultants.) And no sooner will the public become used to MyTravel than they will have to get to grips with yet another brand.

MyTravel is the latest company to join the no-frills bandwagon as it taxis down the runway; its low-cost flights are likely to begin from Manchester on 1 October. But customer-service standards may plummet.

"We'll look after you if your flight doesn't leave on time," promises the new Airtours brochure. (Confusingly, though Airtours' airline is being abolished, the name lives on for package holidays.) The assurance is a bit of an exaggeration – if the plane is anything up to three hours late, you get nothing. But at least when you are stuck overnight you can expect to be offered a hotel room and plied with meals. Contrast this with Ryanair, which gives you absolutely nothing.

"People who arrive at airports with no money in their pockets and expect us to put them up in hotels or feed them simply because there's a delay will not get fed on Ryanair" – so says Michael O'Leary, chief executive of the Irish no-frills airline. His policy has frequently been defended by Tim Jeans, who until last night was Ryanair's marketing director.

The takeover of Go by easyJet has freed up a number of low-cost aviation executives to spend more time with their families. Barbara Cassani, the outgoing (in both senses) boss of Go, was the obvious choice for the new MyTravel airline. The woman who started British Airways' no-frills airline has proved herself capable of building a strong brand as an offshoot of a traditional travel company.

Instead, MyTravel has poached the combative Mr Jeans. I wonder if he will bring the "We'll take less care of you" policy with him?

GO'S stylish design is soon to be obliterated beneath hundreds of gallons of orange paint as it is swallowed by easyJet. That same shade, officially known as Pantone 610, will soon appear on aircraft belonging to Deutsche BA, the loss-making German subsidiary of British Airways.

Ray Webster, easyJet's chief executive, says the move into Germany was prompted by the Federal Republic's climate: "The great thing about the German market is that they have the same problem as us: bad weather." He believes his airline can make money flying Germans to the sun where BA failed.

National Airlines do not enjoy great success flying within foreign countries. Lufthansa tried a link between Birmingham and Newcastle, but soon abandoned it. Naming the airline "UK Lufthansa", in the manner of Deutsche BA, would not have helped much. As aviation becomes pan-European, choosing the right brand is crucial. Generic names such as Buzz and easyJet – which both now offer French domestic flights – fare better in foreign parts.

Perhaps this is was why British Midland became BMI. But the transformation has not been a total marketing success, and the airline appears to be investing in market research to find out if its latest reincarnation was a good idea. In a telephone poll, members of the public are asked if they agree with the statement "I am certain that BMI is a different airline from British Midland." The more people agree, the less wise the move.

The survey also dwells on a defunct, rather than rebranded airline. If someone calls you at home and asks if you agree with the statement "Swissair doesn't really fly to many destinations," the correct answer is "Yes" – the airline that went bust in the aftermath of 11 September flies to a grand total of zero places. It has been superseded by Swiss, which curiously flies between Jersey and Guernsey, but does not sell tickets between the two Channel Islands. In the survey, you should respond negatively to the next two assertions: "Swissair is going from strength to strength" and "Swissair is an airline that gets you to your destination on time."

To boost the chance of getting to your destination on time, the Thomas Cook European Timetable is invaluable. Its editor, Brendan Fox, has the unenviable task of distilling the continent's hundreds of thousands of train departures into a volume that is slim enough to fit into an InterRailer's anorak pocket. After 20 years at the task, Mr Fox is so expert at selecting the right trains that his timetabling skills have been hired by Europe's biggest railway, German Rail.

Anglo-German travel links grow ever stronger. Deutsche Bahn's Kursbuch Europa (left) turns out to be the regular European Timetable with a fancier cover and 15 pages of introduction in German. It is also cheaper; the German edition sells for €7.65, about half the price of the British version. This is one rebranding exercise that is good value for the traveller.